查悦制作 | 我很骄傲,我是个碧池(B-I-T-C-H)

查悦 2019-03-08 20:59:57

员凯·科菲不单是一名专业的美发师,还拥有自己的公司。同时,一直活跃于各种教育和演讲活动中,并且还是一名非常有经验和能力的商业顾问。

在长达五季的《Tabatha Takes Over》这个真人秀节目中,她用自己标志性的直切重点和一贯的严厉作风(tough love),以及专业的商业能力和人生经验,实际帮助了众多濒临倒闭的商家起死回生。

她绝对是一名成功的商业女性,可是从她自己的成功中她也切身体会到了女性彼此间的惯性攻击。希望通过上面的演讲,能让我们意识到作为女性本身,应该更多地支持自己的姐妹,而不是打压彼此!

女神节,敬”碧池“!


以下字幕仅供交流学习:

My name is Tabatha Coffey, and I am a bitch.

我的名字是员凯·科菲,我是个“碧池”

That’s right, your heard it here first.

是的,你没有听错

So…

那么,

Show me your hands, who think they’re a bitch?

现场有谁认为自己也是,可以举手示意一下?

Oh,we need to work on that.

看来,没有人希望自己是“碧池”

By the end of this talk,

在这次演讲的最后

I want every hand up and proud in this audience, all of you.

希望大家都可以很骄傲地举起手来说自己是“碧池”

So, ten years ago,

十年前

I was lucky enough to fall into television,

我很幸运地参加了一个电视节目

And I say I fell into it, because I really did.

不单是参加,我是整个全身心地投入

I tried out for a competitive show that put hairdresser against hairdresser.

这个电视节目是一次美发师们之间的专业比赛

And it was rough;

因为是比赛,所以自然不轻松

It was 12 weeks living away from your business,

而且参加这个比赛的整整12周,远离工作

away from your family,

也见不到你的家人

locked in a house with 11 strangers.

和11个陌生人被锁在一间房子里

You were with them 24/7

每一分,每一秒

It was an amazing experience;

现在想想挺痛苦的,但是确实是非常难得的一次经历

I loved it.

我很高兴自己能有那次机会

And I am incredibly competitive, like most of you.

所以,在节目中我求胜心切,就像大多人在追求自己想要的东西时一样

When it was over,

当这个节目结束之后

I went home,

我回到家

went back to my business,

恢复到日常工作中

went back on with my life.

和之前一样的生活

And a couple of weeks went by,

即使比赛过去了好几周

and my clients were all thrilled that I was on TV and I was competing.

因为我在这个节目中的不错表现,客户们都还在为我激动

Couple of more weeks went by,

又几周过去了

and probably around four weeks in, I was in Nordstrom buying a pair of shoes.

大概是参加完那个节目4周左右的样子,我在诺德斯特龙买鞋

And across the mall,

然后就在商场里

a woman looked and went, “oh, my god! You are that bitch on TV!”

一个女人看到我说:“欧,我的天啊!你就是电视上的那个碧池!”

I did not laugh as all of you are

我当时可没有像大家这样,觉得很好笑

I do now, but not then, it was not so funny.

现在,我比较能一笑了之了,但那时,一点都不好笑

I was absolutely mortified,

觉得自己被羞辱了

And

而且

Look,It’s not the first time I’ve been called a bitch,

这并不是我第一次被叫碧池了

It is definitely not going to be the last time,

肯定也不是最后一次

But from a stranger that recognized me

不过,这次是一个完全的陌生人

and was yelling across the mall that I was the bitch on TV

而且在商场里大声吼到我就是电视上的那个碧池

really stopped me in my tracks

一下子,我愣住了。

it was just amazing.

那种感觉实在是惊悚

Well, it did not just happen once; it kept happening,

而且,这种类似的情况不是只发生了那一次,而是在不断发生

and happening

不断地发生

and happening

不断地发生

and happening.

不断地发生

And I went down the rabbit hole of reading the blogs

让我想找个地洞钻下去躲起来

And reading what people were saying about me.

于是我开始上网搜索人们到底都是怎么说我的

And there were literally thousands of people that were calling me a bitch.

然后发现成千上万的人都在骂我是碧池

And to say that it was paralyzing is putting it mildly.

如果说这种感觉让人有些懵逼的话,那是刻意轻描淡写了

I was paralyzed by it.

事实上,简直是让我无法继续生活

Because…

因为

I am tough,

我明明是一个能吃苦的

and I am honest,

我明明是一个诚实的人

and I am strong,

我明明是一个坚强的人

and I am all the qualities that we all should have

而且我有所有的作为一个成功商人应该必备的

to be a successful business woman.

优秀品质

But I did not view myself as a bitch whatsoever.

我从来都没有在任何一刻会认为自己是个碧池

So, I had to sit down and really reflect

所以,我不得不停下来反思

on what happened and why people were calling me a bitch

反思到底发生了什么,大家都在骂我是碧池?

and why people were thinking that it was okay

同时,也让我去思考为什么这些人会认为骂人碧池是理所当然的

to go up to a complete stranger and go, “You are that bitch!”

对一个自己并不熟悉的陌生人说,“你是一个碧池!”

I know now that it is kind of cool

我当然知道,现在被叫碧池是一件很潮的事

to be a bitch.

成为一个碧池也可以是一种很自我的生活方式

Right? Now it’s kind cool

我懂,现在我们这么称呼彼此碧池甚至是表现亲密

But even though it is cool now,

碧池变成了一种调侃的称呼

And we say to our friends, “ Hey, bitch, how you doing?”

我们对闺蜜说,“怎么样,碧池,最近过得如何啊?”

Right?

对吧?

We “hashtag” on Instgram: ”Bitch an outfit”, right?

我们在社交媒体的个性标签也可以备注自己是“小婊砸”

We throw the word around

我们把这个词越来越调皮地使用

Like it’s means nothing

好像这个词并没有任何贬义一样

But if any of you have been called a bitch

但是,我相信任何一个人骂你是碧池的时候

by someone

(注意不是上面调侃的方式)

whether you know them,

不管你们认识不认识

whether it is a colleague,

不管这个人是不是你的同事

whether it is a friend,

或者朋友

whether it is a random stranger

甚至就是一个完全的陌生人

it hurts.

你都会感到很受伤

There is a moment that it feels like a knife going into your heart.

被骂碧池的那一瞬间,就像一把刀扎进你的心脏

And it hurts.

扎心地疼

The thing that’s interesting, and we talk about it all the time;

但有趣的是,这个世界不是都在鼓励女性成为“碧池”么?

there are books about it,

书里面在说

there are songs about it.

歌里面也在唱

If you are a strong woman,

如果你是一个坚强的女人

If you speak with authority,

如果你强势的展现自己

If you don’t bow down to people,

如果你不轻易屈从于别人

If you speak your mind,

如果你真实表达自己的想法

If you have a healthy dose of ego,

如果你有一个合理程度的自信

If you are really confident and really, really passionate.

如果你对于自己的目标使命必达

You are a bitch.

那么在现实生活中,你就是人们嘴里的那个“碧池”

But those qualities in a man make him a go-getter,

但是,如果是一个男人拥有上面的品质,我们会说他能干

a great executive,

说他善于经营管理

someone you want on the team,

甚至想让他成为自己团队的一员

someone really dependable that would take care of a problem.

认为他值得信赖也有实际解决问题的能力

Maybe even the president.

对了,这个人还可能是我们心目中完美的总统形象

Yep.

我说对了吧!

But those qualities in us, as woman, get us called bitches.

但诡异的是,把这些优秀品质放在女人身上,只让“她”变成了碧池

The bigger problem to me with that is that we do it to each other

而更大的问题是,在女人们之间,这种情况更斯通见惯

We call each other bitches.

女人们在彼此打压,骂对方是碧池

And It is not in the cute Instagram way of ‘Bitch an outfit!”

而且绝不是社交媒体上调侃的“小婊砸”

“I am with my bitches.”

“和我的小婊砸们聚会”

It’s not in the cute way.

并不是这种形式

It is in the mean let me tear you down and put you in your box kind of way.

是一种很贱的方式,想要迅速让对方的自信崩溃和瓦解

Because that word

因为碧池这个词

And I’ve looked, and I’ve searched

我查过,也研究过

There is not an equivalent for men;

这是一个完全贬低女性的词

there isn’t

不存在同样意义的词去形容男性

And it is supposed to dim you light,

骂你碧池是为了迅速掐灭你的气焰

and make you not as confident,

让你变得不那么自信

and make you stop and second-guess yourself a little bit,

阻碍你继续前行,让你开始自我怀疑

and wonder if you are doing the right thing:

让你去疑惑自己是不是做了对的事

“Should I be doing something else? I don’t know.”

“也许我应该做点其他什么?”

That’s what it does to you head.

直接影响到你对自我的认知

And we can laugh it off as we are now,

我们现在也许比较能轻松应对了

but we still know it hurts

但内心还是受伤的

And when we do it to our sisters,

我们是在骂自己的姐妹是碧池

and I mean our sisterhood of women,

“姐妹”是针对所有的女性同胞而言

it’s wrong.

这是错误的

How many times have you walked out of a meeting,

在各种的商业会议上

walked away from maybe doing school pickup,

甚至就是在你去接孩子的时候

or going out to a cocktail party, and there is woman there,

或者是随便一次的聚会,那里总会有这么一个女的

and walked away and said, “Oh, she is such a bitch!”

这个女的会走过来指着另一个女的跟你说,“她是个碧池”

When really, maybe she wasn’t.

真的么?也许她不是呢?

Maybe she was just a little bit more honest than you,

也许她只是比你更清楚知道自己要什么

Maybe she just demanded what she wanted

也许她只是更敢于说出自己的想法

And made no apologies or excused for it.

也许她只为了实现自己的目标,从不找借口

Is she a bitch because she has a better pair of shoes than you?

或者是,只是因为她穿了一双比你好的鞋,所以她是碧池?

Is that why you are calling her a bitch?

这就是你叫她碧池的原因么?

Is that why we do it to each other, because we are a little jealous?

我们骂彼此碧池,或许只是因为我们嫉妒对方?

And we want to cut each other down a little bit?

因为嫉妒,所以我们要打压彼此?

Because we are not helping each other,

我们这么做完全没有对彼此有一丁点好处

We need to promote growth and gain over gossip.

我们不应该习惯于这种女人之间的互相诋毁的八卦

We need to stop cutting each other down as women.

尤其是作为女人自己,我们不应该这么对待女性

When I look at every single woman,

当我见到每一个女性的时候

and I have met hundreds of thousands

尤其是我直接面对和接触过太多的女性了

because I’ve been a hairdresser for 36 years

因为我做理发师已经36年了

and had women in my chair every single time.

每一天,都有女性客户坐上我的椅子

And the reason I am so passionate about what I do

我为什么这么有热情对于现在做的事

is because I understand.

因为,我可以理解女人

I don’t understand men as well,

我肯定无法理解男人

Because I am not one.

因为我不是男人

But women,

但是作为女人本身

I understand us, I understand our insecurities,

我肯定理解女人自己,我理解我们的不安全感

I understand how hard we work,

我理解我们的努力工作和辛勤付出

I understand that everyone wants us to be perfect all the time,

我也理解社会和外界给我们的压力和责任

And it is really, really exhausting.

而这一切确实很让人筋疲力尽

I understand that when we go on a date, or we go to a party,

我也明白当我们去赴约,或参加一次聚会

or we go to a work event,

或者一个工作上的活动

or we just get up in the morning,

或者甚至是早上从床上起来

there is pressure on us.

无时无刻都有各种的压力

And that’s without adding children and husbands

而且这里还没有算上孩子和老公

and all the other people that are grabbing at us all the time.

总有人在期待我们应该怎么做

I get that!

我都懂!

So,when I look at one of my sisters,

所以,当我面对自己姐妹的时候

why am I going to call her a bitch?

为什么我还要骂她是碧池呢?

It’s like calling me a bitch.

难道这不是也在骂自己么?

You are doing it to yourself.

我们给出去的东西最终会回到自己身上

When you look at another woman, you are looking in the mirror.

当你面对任何一个女性的时候,你实际是在看镜中的自己

And let me tell you,

直白点说

the fact that we are women,

我们作为女性,是伟大的

and we can produce life

因为我们创造生命

becausethere are literally wouldn’t be any of us sitting here without a woman

如果没有女人,人类世界都不会存在

True!

这是事实!

Is extraordinary.

我们并没有低等于男人

That is extraordinary

所以我们应该要更尊重自己

To overcome being called a bitch all the time,

在我一次一次被骂是碧池之后

I like to face my fears.

我选择面对我的恐惧和害怕

The way I dissolve them

解决的方式就是

is to look right down the barrel at them and just take care of them.

直接面对这些骂我的人

So after my reflection,

从这次低潮中走出来后

I came up with an acronym for what my version of bitch is.

我对B-I-T-C-H(碧池)有了自己的定义

And it’s brave,

分别是勇敢(B)

Intelligent,

智慧(I)

Tenacious,

顽强(T)

Creative,

创意(C)

andHonest.

和诚实(H)

And I defy anyone in this room,

我敢说现在在场的所有人

men or women, that does not want those qualities in their life.

男人或者女人,没有一个人会不想拥有上面这些特质

Every single woman in here, and every single man,

世界上的每一个的男人和女人

We are brave, you don’t to need to go and slay dragons,

我们是勇敢的,要做到勇敢并不需要你出去猎龙

Sometimes it is just brave to get out of bed in the morning,

有时候,勇敢就简单体现在早上我们能准时起床

and face your day.

去开始面对你的一天

We are warriors.

从这个角度来说,我们每个人都是战士

Intelligent to me is not about college degree and book-smart,

智慧对于我来说不是学历高或者会读书而已

That’s part of it, but there is also intuition;

那只是一部分,但是更多的还有包括直觉

there is understanding,

包括了理解力和同理心

there is nurturing and knowing when to nurture and when to pull back.

同时包括了给予的能力,而且我们知道什么时候应该付出,什么时候应该刹车

They are qualities that, women, we excel at.

这些品质都是我们女人尤其擅长的

Being tenacious, obviously,

顽强要怎么理解?很简单

Have you ever messed with woman’s kid?

你应该有见识过妈妈们为了保护孩子的不屈不挠吧?

I mean, seriously?

身边没有,社会新闻也有见过吧?

We are tenacious; if we want something, we don’t stop.

我们是顽强的,如果我们想要什么,我们绝不放弃

Whata bout that pair of shoes you are lusting after?

那双你特别想要的鞋?

And you cant afford them,

本来是买不起的

Butmiraculously, the money shows up, and you got new kicks on.

但是神奇的是,突然就有钱了,你穿上了新的战靴

That’s tenacity, right there!

这也是一种顽强的表现!

Creative is just looking at things differently;

创造力就是说我们可以从不同角度看问题

We are great at that as woman.

我们作为女人,创意是我们特别的优势

We are the best multitaskers there are: we are creative.

同时,女人是最擅长同时处理多种任务的,这也是一种创意

We find ways to not only find this money for that pair of shoes

我们不单是神奇地变出钱买到自己想要的新鞋

creatively,to come out of nowhere.

同时也说明了我们能做出灵活的调整

But also, how to juggle different schedules, take care of things;

并有解决问题的能力

That’s innate in most of us.

这些品质就像天赋一样在我们身体里

And honest is how I think we all should live our life.

而诚实的品质,我认为是最重要的

And to me that honesty is being honest enough,

诚实并不单指不说谎骗人,而是要对自己足够诚实

Instead of turning around and calling one of my sisters a bitch,

与其背后骂自己的姐妹是碧池

Is to look and say,

不如承认

“You know what? I am a little jealous of her.

我确实有点嫉妒她

Because what she has going on is a whole a lot of fabulous,

因为她现在的状态和生活是我也想要的

and want a little bit of it.”

哪怕不是全部,我也想要靠近那样的自己

“You know what?

或者对自己说

I didn’t get that job,

我没有得到那份工作

Or I didn’t get that gig that I really wanted.

或者是我没有争取到梦寐以求的那次机会

She did. Kudos to her.

但是她做到了,祝贺她

How can I learn form that?

然后想想你能从她身上学到什么?

Howcan I be better?

你要怎么做才能更好?

How can I learn from what she did to elevate myself?

如何从其他女人的成功经验中去提升和激励自己?

Instead of looking and go, “Bitch”

而不是用一句碧池去逃避,不面对自己的问题

That is not going to elevate any of us.

这种心态对于我们女人没有一点好处

That is not going to solve the problem that I believe we as women can solve.

也无法解决任何的问题

So,if you take my acronym

记住我上面对B-I-T-C-H的定义

Of being brave, intelligent, tenacious, creative, and honest,

勇敢、智慧、顽强、创意和诚实

I encourage you all to think about that in every choice,

大家在做每一个选择的时候都可以想一想这上面的5个品质

And the next time someone says to you, “You are a bitch,”

下一次,如果有人骂你是碧池

Smile and say, “Yes, thank you very much. I am.

微笑然后说,“谢谢,我是。

AndI am the best damn bitch I can be.”

我就是你永远羡慕嫉妒却成为不了的那个碧池。”

Thank you, Saint Louis.

圣路易斯,谢谢!

图片来自网络
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