August 10th, 2017, Cloudy, so much sadness in my heart, you can find joy nowhere neither on me nor in me.
For so long time, I want to see God, to realize Him, to aware His existence by somehow.
For so long time, It has been a stronghold and fortress which I cannot break through.
I read Holy Bible, according to the scriptures which was recorded, I know God what was doing before, how He worked, what His heat is like.
But I am so hesitated to think in this way, even it sounds like a natural way what a Christian can think, but it is rare for me to practice it. Even the theory and education told me to go in this way, butactually, I always think in the old wayunconsciously. I am still boxed in the old learning what had been formed in the old days. The starting point from what I think is the view of mine, but not the view of God. Instead of trusting His word and interpretation as the truth, I trust myself as the judger through my view. It is so obvious that It is wrong totally, but it is so imperceptible and unnoticeable when it is ongoing in my life.
I thought I already got the truth, but the truth is still concealed and covered by lies and untested common sense.
What a poor condition of truth what I thought I got, It is not, but I am deceived by the underlying lies.
Oh, My God, to help me and alert me to meditate your words and your deeds and your thoughts from your heart. Let me be a man who is in your plan, but not in the plan of the evil one whom is planning to against you and rob your glory tohonor himself. Your are the Load and God who created heavens and the earth for your purpose.
To know your purpose, to share your plan, to share your beauty on me, is such aprivilege what I can have to be.
Less of me, but More of You.
He is alive, He is the living God, from ever to ever.