「這一年的秋天,我便二十七歲」

crimewave 2017-08-10
i cant write anymore
at least not with my mind, or use the language that i've been used to/familiar with. is it some sort of alienation shit happening. no clue. no idea.
my mind is not align with my thoughts. state of mind i guess. But im just tired. lack of proper sleep.

I was having bad dreams for 3 days in a roll. I don't remember the first one. the second bad dream i had, its happened at my home, a place resemble my actual one but not the real one, i was staying at my room, and my mum is staying at hers. The living room is in between two rooms. No corridor. Theres a black shadow wandering, i saw it and get scared, so i walk to my mother's room, like i did in real life if i got bad dreams. When i got into my mum's room, the dark shadow had tailed me and it gets nearer, but then my eye lid start to fall? Like being very sleepy so i cant barely open my eyes in my dream, the dark shadow gets near but i cannot see it clearly. I turn my back against it then i woke up.

The third one is at a battlefield, two gangs, fi...
i cant write anymore
at least not with my mind, or use the language that i've been used to/familiar with. is it some sort of alienation shit happening. no clue. no idea.
my mind is not align with my thoughts. state of mind i guess. But im just tired. lack of proper sleep.

I was having bad dreams for 3 days in a roll. I don't remember the first one. the second bad dream i had, its happened at my home, a place resemble my actual one but not the real one, i was staying at my room, and my mum is staying at hers. The living room is in between two rooms. No corridor. Theres a black shadow wandering, i saw it and get scared, so i walk to my mother's room, like i did in real life if i got bad dreams. When i got into my mum's room, the dark shadow had tailed me and it gets nearer, but then my eye lid start to fall? Like being very sleepy so i cant barely open my eyes in my dream, the dark shadow gets near but i cannot see it clearly. I turn my back against it then i woke up.

The third one is at a battlefield, two gangs, fighting with arrows or some old age war zone. I was hiding or maybe wounded so i lied on the floor. Theres a bronze Calf sculpture came to life and said " You humans stop fighting each other" And it got white light shone ??? and theres some wolf pack jump in and its like an army of the calf, helping out to settle the dispute between the two gangs. I was being stumbled? by the wolf gangs. Then i woke up.

The weird thing is, i heard something else after i woke up, from the left side of my bed, like a song or a rythme. I dont rmb the melody of it, its like a sound wave, and i'm pretty sure if i listen to it and i will be drawn to somewhere that i dont know where would it be. So i turn to the right side of my bed and back to sleep.

I felt extremely tired these days. I might know the reason but not going to tackle it as always. My eyes is red and my eyes lid felt super heavy and for fuck sakes its only 10pm now.

What am i doing with my life, I have no idea, not even the faintest idea of it. I think im just getting stuck in the phrase. the dying stage and i dont know.
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crimewave
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