We Each Know Our Own Fate (附歌词翻译）

（大学时写的）

正式开始放寒假那晚，我坐在回家的客车上，塞好耳机，点开The Cribs那首Be Safe，踏上归途。当时觉得，这歌名简直就是一个警醒，极适合在路上听。

其实此前我对The Cribs的了解，仅仅止步于Shoot the Poets。在那首歌里的The Cribs和这一首里的简直判若两支乐队：一曲是木吉他低吟浅唱，清新自然；另一曲是电吉他撕心裂肺，厚重悲伤。

Be Safe全长5分多钟，从头至尾都伴着SonicYouth主唱Lee Ronaldo念的旁白，副歌部分反而成了点缀。静暗中，我默颂这意识流歌词，深感它阴沉得过于真实，悲恸得过于撼动人心。然后我就一点一点地，流了些泪，无法抑止。所以当晚，我是挂着泪痕入睡的。那一路，我真真认为这首歌，它美得如黑暗中的一粒星，又如漂洋过海后映入眼帘的第一束光，以至于寒假已经开始十天了，我依然在循环这一首，不可自拔。

歌曲具体讲的故事我不敢肯定，只能作出些我个人的大胆猜测。我看着字里行间的细节，自己织出了个故事：主人公深爱的女子身患绝症（有化疗、医院、临终字眼），可终究还是不敌病魔离世了。在她生命的最后时光，每一日都只是弥留。对于主人公来说，每一日都活得提心吊胆。他深知人终有一死，无论你怎么努力回避，它总会在某一日来敲你的门，不慌不忙，不动声色。因此他一直在尝试用力地过好人生，不愿深陷在庸常生活的窠臼里。他想留住每一刻电光石火的美好，留住恋人的点点滴滴。可是时间从不为谁而停驻。由是，余下的人生对他来说，不过是一再的重复。一切都失焦。他明白自己又要再一次地陷入孤独之中，这种被遗弃的孤独之感正因为她来过，更加显得深广无边。他也开始怀疑自己信奉的生活方式，想着自己何不也和其他人一样，空洞地活着，看看电视、喝喝啤酒，至少每一日都过得舒坦。但同时，逃避的想法也引起了他的自我憎恨。

所幸的是，到了歌曲的尾声，有一丝希望闪现。他道，要打开所有的盒子，如此重复四次，以表决心。盒子里装载的是有关她的回忆。当他有了直面的勇气，就意味着他终于决定要释然，准备迎接新生活，真正得到自由了。

那段写体内的光怎么闪耀的种种比喻也很有趣。他道，像一座钻石矿。但其实在钻石矿内，没有所谓熠熠生辉的动人，有的只是采矿工人的血汗。钻石原石未经打磨切割，是不会闪的。正如爱琴海上，从来都只有一场又一场的征战，没有情人的眼泪。余下的那些意象，也无一例外的不会发光，它们代表的只是软弱、不幸、无限循环和喧嚣。它们都是主人公对现实的讽刺。

歌词翻译如下

在那段巨他妈黑暗的时日里

One of those fucking awful black days

没什么是值得开心的，一切都会化作

When nothing is pleasing and everything that happens

发怒的借口、

Is an excuse for anger

发泄积压情绪的出口、一座蓄势待发的军火库、一副坚硬的盔甲

An outlet for emotions stockpiled, an arsenal, an armour

那时我由衷憎恨着这个世界

These are the days when I hate the world

仇视富人、讨厌快乐的人

Hate the rich, hate the happy

还有那些自鸣得意的人、电视观众、

Hate the complacent, the TV watchers

喝啤酒的、心满意足的……

Beer drinkers, the satisfied ones

我深知自己也会变成上述那些可恨的小东西

Because I know I can be all of those little hateful things

接着又因意识到了这一点而自我憎恨

And then I hate myself for realizing that

活着可没什么所谓预防措施、指示说明或安全方法

There's no preventative, directive or safe approach for living

我们都对自己的命数了然于胸

We each know our own fate

我们打小就清楚别人会如何对待我们

We know from our youth how to be treated

如何评价我们，我们又如何走向死亡

How we'll be received, how we shall end

这些东西不会变的

These things don't change

任你改变衣着

You can change your clothes

换掉发型、朋友，搬去别的城市、大陆

Change your hairstyle, your friends, cities, continents

你的本性也迟早会追上来

But sooner or later your own self will always catch up

它一直都在伺机而动

Always it waits in the wings

思绪万千但都转眼即逝

Ideas swirl but don't stick

它们就像挡风玻璃上的雨一样来去匆匆

They appear but then run off like rain on the windshield

有一次雨天兜风，我简直头痛欲裂

One of those rainy day car rides, my head implodes

车内的气氛就是我头脑的映射

The atmosphere in this car, a mirror of my skull

湿漉漉、潮乎乎的，车窗淌着水，蒙上一层冷气

Wet, damp, windows dripping and misted with cold

如同灰白的墙，收音机里放的尽是坏消息，我头脑空空

Walls of grey, nothing good on the radio, not a thought in my head

我知道有这么个地方，在那儿你会深深坠入爱河，

I know a place we could go where you'll fall in love so hard that

无法自拔到你只愿死去

You'll wish you were dead

我们把生命放慢吧，放得极其的慢

Let's take life and slow it down incredibly slow

一帧一帧的

Frame by frame

两分钟的光景用十年的时间来过

With two minutes that take ten years to live out

对，我们就这么做吧

Yeah, let's do that

电话线杆像抵着天空的螳螂

Telephone poles like praying mantis against the sky

张着金属臂膀

Metal arms outstretched

游遍四海八荒，却找不到一点意义

So much land travelled, so little sense made of it

这片被我们抛在身后的土地，它什么都不是

It doesn't mean a thing, all this land laying out behind us

我多想离去，隐居森林，休养生息然后销声匿迹

I'd like to take off into these woods and get good and lost for a while

那些琐碎的忧虑教我恶心

I'm disgusted with petty concerns

停车收据、特价早餐

Parking tickets, breakfast specials

人一定要背负着这些吗？

Does someone just have to carry this weight?

抽象的版面设计

Abstract typography,

甲烷公约

Methane covenant

线性福音

Linear gospel

阿什维尔的女销售员

Ashville sales lady

冥河密使

Stygian emissary

折磨人的虱子

Torturous lice

疯狂的伊丽莎白

Mad Elizabeth

什么狗屁化疗

Chemotherapy bullshit

我知道有这么个地方，在那儿你会深深坠入爱河，

I know a place we could go where you'll fall in love so hard that

无法自拔到你只愿死去

You'll wish you were dead

我内心的光芒闪耀着，如同一座钻石矿、

The light within me shines like a diamond mine

一头手无寸铁的海象、一个死人俯卧在马路上

Like an unarmed walrus, like a dead man face down on the highway

一尾自吞的蛇

Like a snake eating its own tail

一台蒸汽涡轮机、一片蛙塘

A steam turbine, frog pond

两个塞得满满的衣柜爆开，留下一地狼藉

Two full closets burst open in disarray

在阳光里飞舞的肥皂泡

soap bubbles in the sun

医院里的临终床、红色敞篷车

Hospital death bed, red convertible,

购物清单、口交

shopping list, blowjob

骷髅头、恶魔在跳舞，褪色发白的建筑、记忆流动，胶片徐徐转动，一部无趣的电影就要开始

Death's head, devils dancing, bleached white buildings, memory movements, the movie unappealing unreeling, about to begin

我知道有这么个地方，在那儿你会深深坠入爱河，

I know a place we can go where you'll fall in love so hard that

无法自拔到你只愿死去

You'll wish you were dead

我看见你的走廊了，你是一条幽深的走廊

I see your hallway, you're a dark hallway

我听到你的楼梯在嘎吱作响，可以满心想着你的应允和拒绝

I hear your stairs creak, I can fix my mind on your yes and your no

今天，就在闪闪发光的运河上，我要定格下你的样子

I'll film your face today in the sparkling canals

所有那些红的、黄的、蓝的、绿的光以及荷兰银色的倒影

All red, yellow, blue, green brilliance and silver Dutch reflections

如潮的思绪、如潮的思绪，一切都太过真实

Racing thoughts, racing thoughts, all too real

你动得太快了，我捕捉不到你的影像

You're moving so fast now, I can't hold your image

那个你的脸靠着窗边

This image I have of your face by the window

我就站在你身旁，手搭你肩的影像

Me standing beside you, arm on your shoulder

那一连串的影像，闪过几暼，旋即消失

A catalogue of images, flashing glimpses, then gone again

我被牢牢拴在这根你埋在我心中的柱子上

I'm tethered to this post you've sunk in me

现在每一个晴朗的午后，我都会想起你，在半空中

And every clear afternoon now I'll think of you, up in the air

扭着脚踝，膝盖缠绕着我，我把脸埋进你的秀发里

Twisting your heel, your knees up around me, my face in your hair

你叫得那么动听，笑得那么响亮，以至于它还在我的耳边回荡

You scream so well, your smile so loud, it still rings in my ears

我知道有这么个地方，在那儿你会深深坠入爱河，

I know a place we could go where you'll fall in love so hard that

无法自拔到你只愿死去

You'll wish you were dead

无用而遥远的渴望的浪潮

Inefficient, distant tide of longing

清洁牙齿，坚持到底

Clean my teeth, stay the course

紧握方向盘，向自由驶去

Hold the wheel, steer on to freedom

打开所有的盒子，打开所有的盒子

Open all the boxes, open all the boxes

打开所有的盒子，打开所有的盒子

Open all the boxes, open all the boxes

时代广场的中午，报社大楼，新闻头条四处传播

Times Square midday, newspaper buildings, news headlines going around

你看着它们，期盼能有些好消息

You watch as they go and hope for some good ones

公园里的树影都在窃窃私语，在风中摇动枝叶

Those tree shadows in the park they're all whispering, shaking leaves

傍晚6点左右，阴影掠过了鹅卵石

around six PM shadows across the cobblestones

掠过了站在浴室镜子前的女孩儿

Girl in front of bathroom mirror

她在缓慢而专注地把自己的脸涂绿，好似戴了一副面具

As she slowly and carefully and paints her face green, mask-like

如同马蒂斯在那幅《绿线条》里画的那样

Like Matisse, "Portrait with Green Stripe"

一组穿过公寓窗户的长镜头

Long shot through apartment window

再加上一段独白，但那女孩不会入镜

A monologue on top but no girl in shot

我内心的光芒闪耀着，如同一座钻石矿、

The light within me shines like a diamond mine

一头手无寸铁的海象、一个死人俯卧在马路上

Like an unarmed walrus, like a dead man face down on the highway

一尾自吞的蛇

Like a snake eating its own tail

一台蒸汽涡轮机、一片蛙塘

A steam turbine, frog pond

两个塞得满满的衣柜爆开，留下一地狼藉

Two full closets burst open in disarray,

在阳光里飞舞的肥皂泡

soap bubbles in the sun

医院里的临终床、红色敞篷车

Hospital death bed, red convertible,

购物清单、口交

shopping list, blowjob

骷髅头、恶魔在跳舞，褪色发白的建筑、记忆，胶片转动，电影就要开始

Death's head, devils dancing, bleached white buildings, memory movements, the movie unreeling, about to begin

我那部分真的很棒诶

That was great by me

是吗？我的部分还行吧。虽然不是我最好的作品，但那又咋地？

Yeah? Mine were alright. Wasn't my best one but who cares?

说得好，就该这样

That's the spirit