Call Me By Your Name

小白💨
2018-03-30 14:49:10

Call Me By Your Name#

当我看了越来越多欧洲电影之后,愈开始懂得那样的生活和羡慕他们。每天编编曲弹弹琴,骑着单车去河里游泳,跟喜欢的人一起躺在草地上晒太阳。欧洲的文化越来越深地刻在我心里,过的是一种完全不同于中国大都市快节奏生活的乌托邦理想国生活。

在八十年代北意大利的夏天,

生活就像乌托邦一样理想不真实。

那个年代的喜欢是看书游泳弹琴摘杏。繁杂的移动通讯还没有侵占人们的内外空间,跟LaBoum的感觉一样,喜欢是等待,等电话等midnight。等待是一场酝酿,它让你克制欲望、销蚀需求,让情感和欲望一点点积蓄,直到获得时间的许可。

片头他们的初识,是在光着膀子只用穿短裤夏天,Olive问Elio大家在这里都做些什么。Elio说,等夏天结束。可是那个夏天真的结束了,明年春天他就要结婚了。

片尾最后三分钟的固定长镜头,窗外飘雪湖面结冰,Elio守在壁炉前,一会儿落泪,一会儿抿着泪水笑了,一会儿眼睛里又恢复了冷漠。哦,少年的初恋,心中的熊熊焰火在皑皑白雪中悄悄被熄灭了。仿佛在短短几分钟内,他把那个夏天又度过了一次,且此生还要度过很多次。

那句Later,那件衬衫,树上结满的杏子,一起骑过的单车和每天泡过的池水,给你弹过的曲子,都一起留在了那个夏天。但是“我和你一样,我什么都记得。”

整部电影最难受的是Elio在火车站送Oliver离开,两个大男人,也不用说太多,一个拥抱一个点头,就再也不会回头看。可Elio在火车站的凳子上坐了几分钟之后,去电话亭打电话给妈妈哽咽地问她能不能来接他,在车上两个人一句话不说,只有忍不住的眼泪和紧锁的眉。

还有两个地方看哭了,感觉是看到了我自己。

一个是Elio和Oliver因为身处不同的家庭环境,所以对他们各自感情做出的选择产生了巨大的影响。

家庭观念和犹太信仰虔诚的差异深深影响了Oliver的决定。“We can’t talk about such things. We really can’t.” Elio的出现让他对自己的生活现状产生了极大的动摇,所以他曾试图消极地影响Elio对他的看法。“Because it would be very wrong.” 这也是Oliver用来维护自己价值观最后的理由。“You’re making things very difficult for me.” 可惜当初Elio并没能够理解这句“你会让我很为难”的真正意义。

不像自始至终都尊重孩子选择的Eilo父母,因为家庭,所以Oliver最后只能选择跟一个女生结婚。

第二个就是Oliver走后Elio爸爸说的话。

“You had a beautiful friendship.Maybe more than a friendship. And I envy you. In my place, most parents would hope the whole thing goes away, or pray that their sons land on their feet soon enough. But I am not such a parent. In your place, if there is pain, nurse it, and if there is a flame, don’t snuff it out, don’t be brutal with it. Withdrawal can be a terrible thing when it keeps us awake at night, and watching others forget us sooner than we’d want to be forgotten is no better. We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster than we should that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to feel nothing so as not to feel anything—what a waste!” 你们的友谊是美好的。也许超越了友谊。我羡慕你。就我看来,大多数家长会希望此事就此了结,或者祈求他们的孩子能快点振作起来。而我不是这样的家长。现在的你,会去抚平伤痛,但如心中依旧存留火花,不要残忍的掐灭它。逃避不会让我们睡的安心。但相比之下,看到对方比预想的先忘记自己会更加糟糕。我们对自己百般剥夺,只为让伤口更快愈合,以至于不到三十岁的我们就已经遍体鳞伤。每次开始一段新的感情,能付出的情感会剩的越来越少。为了避免再次受伤,而麻木不仁,这多可惜。 - 原著

“I may have come close, but I never had what you had. Something always held me back or stood in the way. How you live your life is your business. But remember, our hearts and our bodies are given to us only once. Most of us can’t help but live as though we’ve got two lives to live, one is the mockup, the other the finished version, and then there are all those versions in between. But there’s only one, and before you know it, your heart is worn out, and, as for your body, there comes a point when no one looks at it, much less wants to come near it.” - 原著

“Right now there's sorrow. Pain. Don't kill it and with it the joy you've felt. ”现在你的会感到悲伤,痛苦。不要连同曾经的快乐,把这些感觉一起遗忘。- 剧本

我也没有Elio那样的家庭那样的生活,却有那样饱满的情感。但或许就像豆瓣短评里所说,“你要学会去感受生命中的一切,在年轻的时候拥抱所有感觉和情绪,就像一种修行和成长。”

-Call me by your name and I will call you by mine.

-Later.

30/Mar/2018

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