who you want to be

流苏❀Jane
2018-03-29 21:43:31
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To be honesty, it took me a while to be into this TV serial.
At the beginning, I really didn't like the Clay's personality, acting like a loser, very emotional, trying to get away from people. And I even didn't like Hanna because I thought it was herself that made her life like that. But with more episodes watching, I realized it is not just the things that teenagers made up in the school.
Those young are growing up in the boundary between adults and kids so they would like to behave like the adults they want to be but still very childish. However, when they sat together to talk about the Hanna's case, I saw their shadows made of true nature from variety adults. Some want to protect their reputation and keep spots away from their bright future, while some would like to follow heart and face to the truth. Associated those young with their family, it is clear to see where their personalities come from. Furthermore, the difference of rich and not-rich families let children have tot

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To be honesty, it took me a while to be into this TV serial.
At the beginning, I really didn't like the Clay's personality, acting like a loser, very emotional, trying to get away from people. And I even didn't like Hanna because I thought it was herself that made her life like that. But with more episodes watching, I realized it is not just the things that teenagers made up in the school.
Those young are growing up in the boundary between adults and kids so they would like to behave like the adults they want to be but still very childish. However, when they sat together to talk about the Hanna's case, I saw their shadows made of true nature from variety adults. Some want to protect their reputation and keep spots away from their bright future, while some would like to follow heart and face to the truth. Associated those young with their family, it is clear to see where their personalities come from. Furthermore, the difference of rich and not-rich families let children have totally different lives and minds. Do those parents care about their kids? How much do they care? To be honest, I can't find any family I would like to be in. Those who have big houses, the houses are always filled with the lonely children. When it comes to Clay's parents, they are much better. Still, I felt that his mother may care too much and put too much control to her boy. Parents always think their children are always kids, so they don't care them or treat them equally like real friend.
Here, everyone has his/her own distinguishable personality, no one is perfect, each one could be any of us, no matter if we like or not. I found part of myself in Clay. Actually, I do like him at the last few episodes because he was getting spunk. He may be still emotional, but at least he got bravery to fight against and face the problem. Even the relationship between he and his mother is getting breaking-the-ice. He is growing up, and getting out of Hanna's shadow. And he is only one who could confess to be one piece of responsible to Hanna's suicide. Actually, I think the reason that he was so abnormal since Hanna's gone might be that he's already felt there was something he needs to do for Hanna. He is looking for a way to let the anger and anxiety out. Otherwise, just like Hanna said, there was something that Clay has that be worth being admired, like he can be himself and never care about others' thought and words, not like Hanna. Even though Clay is also alone, but he never tried to squash into any groups and wanted to be popular among others. Clay is always very nice to people he met. He did care people, care everyone. Maybe this is the ideal that character would like to create.
As to Hanna, I really feel sorry for her. At some moments, it seemed I got her feeling, I was part of her. I am alone abroad now. Even though people around me are nice, you will never know the feeling that no one care you and love you. I also can't think of anyone could be called as friend and hang out of me. Most of my time I just stay in my 10m2 room, watching, writing and thinking. The darkest time is the days just after my beloved grandma gone. I was walking along the road alone and forget all the crowd passed by me. Some words I heard from Hanna are more like what I have thought. Hanna did try to give her last chance to live, but the counselor totally ruined the last chance! I still remember that the worst moment I post some words on my weibo, where I showed my depression and loneliness. However, the comments I got are more blames than courage or comfort. They just said don't keep saying you are lonely, go and find other meaningful things to do! She would never know how hurt when I saw these words. I did not tend to be like that, but those upset things kept letting me down. I can't Hanna's eyesight showing she really need a help from anyone, that kind of desperate, picnic and finally empty at all. I cried loudly when Hanna cut her wrist heavily. She was such brave and cut even more than once. She yelled out because of pain but I could feel that she was actually more happy because she was finally out. At that moment, I did think that dying is much easier than living. Hanna is gone, but I hope I can get over it. I do hope.
Be a nice person and be nice to people around you sincerely.
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