Feel something you obviously did.Look, you had a beautiful friendship.Maybe more than a friendship. And I envy you. My place most parents would hope the whole thing goes away,pray their sons land on their feet,but I am not such a parent ,we rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster ,and we go bankrupt by the age of 30 and have less to offer each time we start with someone new.But to make yourself feel nothing so as not to feel anything.What a waste!
And I'll say one more thing,it will clear the air.I may have come close but I never had what you two have, something always held me back,or stood in the way.How you live your life is your business.Just remember, our hearts and our bodies are given to us only once and before you know it your hearts worn out.And as for your body there comes a point when no one looks at it,much less wants to come near it. Right now there's sorrow,pain. Don't kill it,and with the joy you feel.