Barry：“ You are not at your most practical when your wife's tried to kill herself again. You know?"
Maurice:"Fair enough, you want to put the knife down？"
Barry:" it was Christmas , Maurice. So I made her an eggnog, because i thought, well you know, she just deserves a treat. but she won't be getting too carried away with the eggnog. Because it's quite rich isn't it? "
Maurice:" erm, yes."
Barry:" She drank eight litres of it while i was busy with the sprouts."
Maurice:"Why did you make eight litres of it?"
Barry:" I just go the quantities wrong. So I had to keep adding ingredients to- to balance it out. And she must have found this(knife) in the bag because..."
"they discovered her...oh, round about here. and she's obviously been squirming for a while because it was blood everywhere. And all her insides were out, like big sloppy wires all tangled up. Like, you know, when you can't see where the knots are. Except this was my wife."
"So i carry this knife with me at all times. Do you know why I carry it with me, Maurice?"
Maurice:" Barry, whatever you want, you can have it. I just need to get to my daughter now."
Barry:" I carry it with me to remind me, that is was hard...because if i didn't remember how hard it was i don't think i could cope with her not being here any more.
"it was exhausting, actually. So i can't ever know how you feel, Maurice. But i know how Deborah feels. I know how she would have felt. I keep saying to myself: it will go away soon, this feeling. After a few months, few years perhaps. But it never does. This is what you leave behind."