Marvin's Room

2008-02-03 看过
“I have been so lucky to have someone to love so much”, so said Bessie. It has much deeper meaning than it seemed to me when I just heard it. Love is always the main subject which you should spend a whole life to search for the answers. Love drives the world; it is a thing that will cause a significant difference to live with or without. People always ask about what love is and where to find it. What Bessie said in the movie reflected her point of view from another angel. Love is not a one-way street; it needs traffic in both directions. Sometimes, or most of the time if you prefer, giving is better than receiving, and she found so much joy in loving her family, especially her vegetating father.
It takes more to feel the way Bessie did. First of all, giving does not equal to receiving, or in another way, it is not promised that you will get the same or more love as you give out. See it as an investment, the rate of return (ROR) could be low. Her father may not even have a chance to say thank you to Bessie again, but she got something beyond the language and other things. Second, huge effort is needed to make to love. Love does not just happen. Let’s see what the Bible tells us about love. In 1 Corinthians 13:4-13, it says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. . . It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. . .” It was not easy for Bessie, she had no husband, a sister who is far away and gone for seventeen years, and now she had leukaemia herself. There seemed to be several problems between the family members here and there, so she needed to be a strong woman to deal all of them. Maybe when Bessie was sick herself, she can understand more how important the love and support from the family is, to her, to his father, to Lee, and to Hank. Everyone in this family needed to deal with her or his own problems, and love and understanding would work it out.
Seniors are more independent in the USA than where I am from. Two of the reasons are we do not have a well developed social security system as here and as a culture, families are considered the basic undivided units in the society and family members keep much closer relationship to each other. It does not necessarily mean that people love more in families than Americans; for all reasons, people are just rely more on each other in the family. For example, people have to take care of their parents, even grandparents, whenever they are able to; not just because it is the law, people are judged by others for this kind of issues, and they care about what others say. Elderlies don’t think there is anything wrong being taken care of by their family and being around them. It was so common to see a big family live all together. According to Chinese tradition, filial piety was the primary duty of all Chinese. Being a filial son meant complete obedience to one's parents during their lifetime and, as they grew older, taking the best possible care of them. Seeing parents’ getting older and weaker has no easy feelings, and the responsibilities on younger generations are getting bigger as the same time. My mother did not come to the States with me and I cannot go beck to visit her very often. Is it luckier to be able to stay with the one you love, even if she is sick, than being alone? Is it love or selfishness? When giving love is the only thing you want to do to someone, you don’t really care if you can get love beck, or you have automatically gotten what you need. “I have been so lucky to have someone to love so much”, so Bessie was.
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