Western culture has endlessly represented the ways in which love miraculously erupts in people's lives, the mythical moment in which one knows someone is destined for us; the feverish waiting for a phone call or an email, the thrill that runs our spine at the mere thought of him or her. Yet, a culture that has so much to say about love is virtually silent on the no less mysteri...
Western culture has endlessly represented the ways in which love miraculously erupts in people's lives, the mythical moment in which one knows someone is destined for us; the feverish waiting for a phone call or an email, the thrill that runs our spine at the mere thought of him or her. Yet, a culture that has so much to say about love is virtually silent on the no less mysterious moments when we avoid falling in love, where we fall out of love, when the one who kept us awake at night now leaves us indifferent, or when we hurry away from those who excited us a few months or even a few hours before.
In The End of Love, Eva Illouz documents the multifarious ways in which relationships end. She argues that if modern love was once marked by the freedom to enter sexual and emotional bonds according to one's will and choice, contemporary love has now become characterized by practices of non-choice, the freedom to withdraw from relationships. Illouz dubs this process by which relationships fade, evaporate, dissolve, and break down "unloving." While sociology has classically focused on the formation of social bonds, The End of Love makes a powerful case for studying why and how social bonds collapse and dissolve.
Particularly striking is the role that capitalism plays in practices of non-choice and "unloving." The unmaking of social bonds, she argues, is connected to contemporary capitalism that is characterized by practices of non-commitment and non-choice, practices that enable the quick withdrawal from a transaction and the quick realignment of prices and the breaking of loyalties. Unloving and non-choice have in turn a profound impact on society and economics as they explain why people may be having fewer children, increasingly living alone, and having less sex.
The End of Love presents a profound and original analysis of the effects of capitalism and consumer culture on personal relationships and of what the dissolution of personal relationships means for capitalism.
作者简介
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Eva Illouz is Directrice d'Etudes at the EHESS in Paris and Rose Isaac Chair of Sociology at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. Her previous books include Why Love Hurts: A Sociological Explanation, Cold Intimacies: The Making of Emotional Capitalism, and Consuming the Romantic Utopia: Love and the Cultural Contradictions of Capitalism.
目录
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1. Introduction: Unloving and the Sociology of Negative Choice
2. Premodern Courtship, Social Certainty, and the Rise of Negative Relationships
3. Confusing Sex
4. The Rise of Ontological Uncertainty
5. A Freedom with Many Limits
6. Divorce as a Negative Relationship
· · · · · ·
(更多)
1. Introduction: Unloving and the Sociology of Negative Choice
2. Premodern Courtship, Social Certainty, and the Rise of Negative Relationships
3. Confusing Sex
4. The Rise of Ontological Uncertainty
5. A Freedom with Many Limits
6. Divorce as a Negative Relationship
Conclusion: Negative Relations and the Butterfly Politics of Sex
Acknowledgments
Notes
Bibliography
Index
· · · · · · (收起)
♡♡♡♡ 看了1、2后半、4后半、5。A choosing will is a specific kind of deliberative will, facing a world that seems to be structured like a market / Objectification itself has changed. It has taken the form of subj...♡♡♡♡ 看了1、2后半、4后半、5。A choosing will is a specific kind of deliberative will, facing a world that seems to be structured like a market / Objectification itself has changed. It has taken the form of subjectification / Their contractual character consists precisely in agreeing that this is not a relationship.(展开)
♡♡♡♡ 看了1、2后半、4后半、5。A choosing will is a specific kind of deliberative will, facing a world that seems to be structured like a market / Objectification itself has changed. It has taken the form of subj...♡♡♡♡ 看了1、2后半、4后半、5。A choosing will is a specific kind of deliberative will, facing a world that seems to be structured like a market / Objectification itself has changed. It has taken the form of subjectification / Their contractual character consists precisely in agreeing that this is not a relationship.(展开)
作者：伊娃 易洛思(Eva Illouz) 译者：吴炼 Eva Illouz (2018): The End of Love: A Sociology of Negative Relations. Polity. (节选自导论章 ，发于公众号“她译”） *已有繁体中译本：《為什麼不愛了》，聯經出版社（2021），翁德明译。 作为自由的爱情 作为一种本质上丰...
(展开)
1 有用 Dussardier 2021-12-31 00:24:56
很好读，也真是非常全面，只不过访谈之外的有些材料使用我不是很确定可以这么用，最后结论其实又在做拓展，所以，期待22年的新书
0 有用 Power off 2022-05-01 13:33:15
看的是繁體版的，很不錯的一本書。作者研究了親密關係的陰暗方面，這本書與《愛為什麼痛》有些類似的觀點，比如性的歷史發展，性自由的現狀，還有資本主義與性動物結合。作為一名處於消極關係的女性，我認為這本書給了我很大啟發。我們以合意，個人偏好和消費品味為標準對關係最出評價和選擇，而性與資本資本主義的結合，使得性與情感、婚姻變成獨立的三個方面，我們處於深深的不確定性中。吉登斯說人的本質就是在追求確定性，但是... 看的是繁體版的，很不錯的一本書。作者研究了親密關係的陰暗方面，這本書與《愛為什麼痛》有些類似的觀點，比如性的歷史發展，性自由的現狀，還有資本主義與性動物結合。作為一名處於消極關係的女性，我認為這本書給了我很大啟發。我們以合意，個人偏好和消費品味為標準對關係最出評價和選擇，而性與資本資本主義的結合，使得性與情感、婚姻變成獨立的三個方面，我們處於深深的不確定性中。吉登斯說人的本質就是在追求確定性，但是而今的我們卻不知道我們想要的到底是什麼，只能通過不想要什麼刪去一個個選項，投身到無盡的追求中去。 (展开)
0 有用 asterisk 2024-02-14 11:07:43 北京
不愧是法国人，虽然作者稍微有点啰嗦之嫌 相比于之前的婚恋观，随着自由主义，个体主义，包括围绕着个人情感的消费主义，首先是性和情感的进一步分离，随之而来的消费主义，使得人们对于需求和预期变得更加多元和分化，自我，也因此人和人之间，对于关系的框架，预期，容忍度都降低，双方都更在意自己的价值，在这样一个类零和游戏中，自我价值的维护使得人们更不愿意进入关系，更愿意退出关系 看完感觉个体主义，自我意识的加上... 不愧是法国人，虽然作者稍微有点啰嗦之嫌 相比于之前的婚恋观，随着自由主义，个体主义，包括围绕着个人情感的消费主义，首先是性和情感的进一步分离，随之而来的消费主义，使得人们对于需求和预期变得更加多元和分化，自我，也因此人和人之间，对于关系的框架，预期，容忍度都降低，双方都更在意自己的价值，在这样一个类零和游戏中，自我价值的维护使得人们更不愿意进入关系，更愿意退出关系 看完感觉个体主义，自我意识的加上，叠加上消费主义本身鼓励的选择主义，不可避免带来转型的阵痛，每个人都想更好的选择，但是却为社会整体带来了不确定性，这恐怕也是资本主义消费至上会带来的问题之一，如果一个婚姻里面的各种要素被分别满足，那么即使不离婚，恐怕对于婚姻的态度也以前有所不同，所以一个更加开放关系的社会，真的是未来吗 (展开)
0 有用 . 2024-01-18 13:47:35 湖南
♡♡♡♡ 看了1、2后半、4后半、5。A choosing will is a specific kind of deliberative will, facing a world that seems to be structured like a market / Objectification itself has changed. It has taken the form of subj... ♡♡♡♡ 看了1、2后半、4后半、5。A choosing will is a specific kind of deliberative will, facing a world that seems to be structured like a market / Objectification itself has changed. It has taken the form of subjectification / Their contractual character consists precisely in agreeing that this is not a relationship. (展开)
0 有用 小松 2023-11-20 14:55:06 上海
很透彻的剖析，看的时候有太多的“原来是这样”的时刻，感觉也能隐约体会到作者对好的亲密关系的看法和期望
0 有用 asterisk 2024-02-14 11:07:43 北京
不愧是法国人，虽然作者稍微有点啰嗦之嫌 相比于之前的婚恋观，随着自由主义，个体主义，包括围绕着个人情感的消费主义，首先是性和情感的进一步分离，随之而来的消费主义，使得人们对于需求和预期变得更加多元和分化，自我，也因此人和人之间，对于关系的框架，预期，容忍度都降低，双方都更在意自己的价值，在这样一个类零和游戏中，自我价值的维护使得人们更不愿意进入关系，更愿意退出关系 看完感觉个体主义，自我意识的加上... 不愧是法国人，虽然作者稍微有点啰嗦之嫌 相比于之前的婚恋观，随着自由主义，个体主义，包括围绕着个人情感的消费主义，首先是性和情感的进一步分离，随之而来的消费主义，使得人们对于需求和预期变得更加多元和分化，自我，也因此人和人之间，对于关系的框架，预期，容忍度都降低，双方都更在意自己的价值，在这样一个类零和游戏中，自我价值的维护使得人们更不愿意进入关系，更愿意退出关系 看完感觉个体主义，自我意识的加上，叠加上消费主义本身鼓励的选择主义，不可避免带来转型的阵痛，每个人都想更好的选择，但是却为社会整体带来了不确定性，这恐怕也是资本主义消费至上会带来的问题之一，如果一个婚姻里面的各种要素被分别满足，那么即使不离婚，恐怕对于婚姻的态度也以前有所不同，所以一个更加开放关系的社会，真的是未来吗 (展开)
0 有用 . 2024-01-18 13:47:35 湖南
♡♡♡♡ 看了1、2后半、4后半、5。A choosing will is a specific kind of deliberative will, facing a world that seems to be structured like a market / Objectification itself has changed. It has taken the form of subj... ♡♡♡♡ 看了1、2后半、4后半、5。A choosing will is a specific kind of deliberative will, facing a world that seems to be structured like a market / Objectification itself has changed. It has taken the form of subjectification / Their contractual character consists precisely in agreeing that this is not a relationship. (展开)
0 有用 Tev 2023-12-08 13:52:05 中国香港
放在本港的dating scene下来读让我拍案叫绝！讲资本主义和现代性对当代亲密关系的影响。自由主义鼓吹性 消费 情感上的选择自由，但也不可避免地把消费主义文化（即无休止的比较 选择 风险对冲）带入了亲密关系的场域。当代亲密关系的建立与维系被剥离了传统“courtship”的规范叙事，现代人被扔进了人际关系中无所不在的“不确定性”（即无法明确我在一段关系中是什么角色，想要什么，下一步要做什么）中... 放在本港的dating scene下来读让我拍案叫绝！讲资本主义和现代性对当代亲密关系的影响。自由主义鼓吹性 消费 情感上的选择自由，但也不可避免地把消费主义文化（即无休止的比较 选择 风险对冲）带入了亲密关系的场域。当代亲密关系的建立与维系被剥离了传统“courtship”的规范叙事，现代人被扔进了人际关系中无所不在的“不确定性”（即无法明确我在一段关系中是什么角色，想要什么，下一步要做什么）中，被扔进性自由快乐的“市场”中，而这往往是伴以极高的心理代价的。很喜欢作者讲ghosting那里指出的当代亲密关系的困境：建立亲密关系本质上需要展示和让渡vulnerability，而在现代性语境下，关系的建立又需要signal detachment (i.e.be cool)以显示自主和自我价值。 (展开)
0 有用 niangaogao 2023-12-01 16:22:05 英国
看了之后对拥有勇气面对不确定这件事大受鼓舞！
0 有用 小松 2023-11-20 14:55:06 上海
很透彻的剖析，看的时候有太多的“原来是这样”的时刻，感觉也能隐约体会到作者对好的亲密关系的看法和期望