My Name Is Red - reading

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2018-08-14 看过

-5.

I can only compare this contraction to the surprising sense of release I felt during the unequaled moment of my death. Yes, I instantly understood that the wretch wanted to kill me when he unexpectedly struck me with a stone and cracked my skull, but I didn’t believe he’d follow through. I suddenly realized I was a hopeful man, something I hadn’t been aware of while living my life in the shadows between workshop and household. I clung passionately to life with my nails, my fingers and my teeth, which I sank into his skin. I won’t bore you with the painful details of the subsequent blows I received.

死亡,唯一让我惊喜的是有一刻身体异常的轻松。是的,我立刻明白这个坏蛋想要杀我,猛然拿起石头砸我脑袋。但是,我不相信他杀我如此容易。我意识到自己是个善良的人,竟相信这个坏人不会杀我。我对他的恨犹如咬牙切齿一般,我更知道自己无法幸免于难,使用全身力气也要弄伤他如同豹子用牙齿和爪子撕裂着对方。接下来遭受的毒打太过血腥,不详细说明了。

When in the course of this agony I knew I would die, an incredible feeling of relief filled me.I felt this relief during the moment of departure;

一阵痛苦后我知道自己快死了,刹那我所感受到的那种出人意料的轻松感。这种轻松感一瞬间又消失了。

my arrival to this side was soothing, like the dream of seeing oneself asleep.The snow- and mud-covered shoes of my murderer were the last things I noticed. I closed my eyes as if I were going to sleep, and I gently passed over.

意识轻飘飘的脱离身体,通往死亡的过程非常平坦,仿佛梦中看见自己沉睡。我最后注意到的一件东西,是凶手那双沾满泥学的鞋子。我闭上眼睛即将睡着好像这个世界重未有过我。

My present complaint isn’t that my teeth have fallen like nuts into my bloody mouth, or even that my face has been maimed beyond recognition,

此刻我的痛苦不是被打的满口鲜血牙齿掉落于的口中,也不是我的脸摔烂到无法辨认更不是身体被抛弃一旁,而是每一个人还以为我还活着。

My troubled soul is anguished that my family and intimates, who, yes, think of me often, imagine me engaged in trivial dealings somewhere in Istanbul, or even chasing after another woman.

我内心最痛苦的是我家人和好朋友以后会怎么想我,猜想我在伊斯坦布尔处理琐事?还是跑路了?甚至是跟别人的女人跑了。

Enough! Find my body without delay, pray for me and have me buried.

够了!饶了我吧,快找到我的身体为我下葬吧。

Above all, find my murderer! For even if you bury me in the most magnificent of tombs, so long as that wretch remains free, I’ll writhe restlessly in my grave, waiting and infecting you all with faithlessness.

最重要的,找到凶手!我要让你们知道就是他们把我葬在最富丽堂皇的陵墓,只要那个混蛋仍旧逍遥法外,我就会在坟墓里辗转难安,日夜等待并托梦于你们。

Find that son-of-a-whore murderer and I’ll tell you in detail just what I see in the Afterlife—but know this, after he’s caught, he must be tortured by slowly splintering eight or ten of his bones, preferably his ribs, with a vise before piercing his scalp with skewers made especially for the task by torturers and plucking out his disgusting, oily hair, strand by strand, so he shrieks each time.

找到 那该死的凶手,我会告诉你们凶手的细节,抓住他,一定要惩罚他一番,敲断他七八根骨头,最好是肋骨,拿为酷刑特制的针戳穿他的头皮,拿钳子把他那油腻恶心的头发拔光,一根一根的拔,让他一次一次的尖叫。

Who is this murderer who vexes me so? Why has he killed me in such a surprising way? Be curious and mindful of these matters.

凶手是谁派来搞我的,为什么他突然要杀我?请注意以下事情。

You say the world is full of base and worthless criminals? Perhaps this one did it, perhaps that one? In that case let me caution you: My death conceals an appalling conspiracy against our religion, our traditions and the way we see the world. Open your eyes, discover why the enemies of the life in which you believe, of the life you’re living, and of Islam, have destroyed me.

你会说这个世界有很多罪犯,可能这个人干的就是那个人做的,这个事情我让我告诉你:我的死隐藏着一个骇人的阴谋极可能摧毁我们的宗教和传统以及世界观。睁开你的眼睛,观察在你们信仰的世界,生活的伊斯兰世界,是什么力量要毁掉我。

Learn why one day they might do the same to you.

One by one, everything predicted by the great preacher Nusret Hoja of Erzurum, to whom I’ve tearfully listened, is coming to pass.

也许有一天他们也会这么对你。一个接一个,所有一切来自于伟大的艾尔祖鲁姆的努斯莱特教长,我曾流泪倾听他的布道。

Let me say also that if the situation into which we’ve fallen were described in a book, even the most expert of miniaturists could never hope to illustrate it.

让我说:以现在的情况来看即使把我们的状况写进书本即使用上最权威的画家都不能描绘目前的困境。

As with the Koran—God forbid I’m misunderstood—the staggering power of such a book arises from the impossibility of its being depicted. I doubt you’ve fully comprehended this fact. Listen

就像《古兰经》说的——求主责罚——我怀疑你是否真的理解:这本书之所以拥有如此强大的力量,正是由它蕴藏玄机。

Listen to me. When I was an apprentice, I too feared and thus ignored underlying truths and voices from beyond.I’d joke about such matters. But I’ve ended up in the depths of this deplorable well! It could happen to you, be wary.

听我的,当我是个实习生也因为害怕,总是忽略事情背后隐藏的真相和声音。并且以此当做玩笑谈论这些事情。但我最终趟在深渊的角落以至彻底改变。小心,这也可能会发生在你身上。

-6.

Now, I’ve nothing left to do but hope for my thorough decay, so they can find me by tracing my stench. I’ve nothing to do but hope—and imagine the torture that some benevolent man will inflict upon that beastly murderer once he’s been caught.

现在什么都不能做了,但是希望我会彻底腐烂,散发出尸体的味道好让人找寻到我。我现在什么都不能做了,只期望来个心思细密的人乘冤昭雪并让他浮法。

After an absence of twelve years I entered Istanbul like a sleepwalker. “The earth called to him,” they say of men who are about to die, and in my case, it was death that drew me back to the city where I’d been born and raised.

离开我从小生长的城市伊斯坦布尔12年后, 我像个梦游者再度归来。“土地召唤他回来”他们这么形容快死的人,在我看来。是死亡召唤了我。,哪里出生,哪里长大。

When I first returned, I thought there was only death; later, I would also encounter love. Love, however, was a distant and forgotten thing, like my memories of having lived in the city.

It was in Istanbul, twelve years ago, that I fell helplessly in love with my young cousin.

当我第一次回来,以为这里只有死亡,之后,我也邂逅了爱情。

对这里的环境既感到陌生,却又像是记忆中依存过生活过的城市。

12年以前在伊斯坦布尔,我无药可救的爱上了我年轻的表妹。

Four years after I first left Istanbul, while traveling through the endless steppes, snow-covered mountains and melancholy cities of Persia, carrying letters and collecting taxes, I admitted to myself that I was slowly forgetting the face of the childhood love I’d left behind.

四年之后我第一次离开伊斯坦布尔,穿过广袤无垠的草原,雪山,伊朗,递送信件并收集税款时,我发现自己渐渐忘记那张连。我会留下。

With growing panic, I tried desperately to remember her, only to realize that despite love, a face long not seen finally fades. During the sixth year I spent in the East, traveling or working as a secretary in the service of pashas, I knew that the face I imagined was no longer that of my beloved.

Later, in the eighth year, I forgot what I’d mistakenly called to mind in the sixth, and again visualized a completely different countenance.

惊恐中,我急切的想要忘记她,这才意识到经过漫长岁月她的样子终于消失。我在伊朗当部长时东奔西跑过了6年。我知道她已经不是我想象的样子。之后,到了第八年,我再次忘记那是想象的样子从而编织出另一张不同样子。

In this way, by the twelfth year, when I returned to my city at the age of thirty-six, I was painfully aware that my beloved’s face had long since escaped me.

Many of my friends and relatives had died during my twelve-year exile.

I visited the cemetery overlooking the Golden Horn and prayed for my mother and for the uncles who’d passed away in my absence.

就这样,在二十年后,在我36岁回到我的城市,我惊恐察觉到我早已如此般把我恋人脸庞忘却...

The earthy smell of mud mingled with my memories.

20岁中,我许多朋友和亲戚都相继死去。

我前往拜访巡视金角湾的墓地探视, 为母亲和那些我离开时过世的叔伯们祈祷。

泥土的气味的混入我的记忆力

Someone had broken an earthenware pitcher beside my mother’s grave.

For whatever reason, gazing at the broken pieces, I began to cry.

Was I crying for the dead or because I was, strangely, still only at the beginning of my life after all these years?

有人已经打碎我妈妈坟墓一旁的水罐

不知什么原因,疑视碎片,我潸然泪下。

我为死去的人哭泣可我曾经很坚强的直到最近几年

Or was it because I’d come to the end of my life’s journey? A faint snow fell. Entranced by the flakes blowing here and there, I became so lost in the vagaries of my life that I didn’t notice the black dog staring at me from a dark corner of the cemetery.

又或者相反,我已经感受到自己来到人生的旅途终点?一种无力感侵袭全身,我失神地望着东飘西荡的雪花,脑中混乱地想象自己生命的种种,以至迷了路,没有注意到墓园角落一只黑狗正盯着我瞧。

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