A feminism where everyone is comfortable is a feminism where everyone is working for their own self-interest, rather than the interest of the whole.
If you are surrounded by people who agree with you, you do not have to do much thinking. If you are surrounded by people who identify themselves the same way you do, you do not have to work at constructing a unique identity. If you are surrounded by people who behave the same way you do, you do not have to question your own choices.
Self-help culture necessarily removes the individual from the societal context in which she lives. We decided to think about our problems in a psychological context rather than a sociological context so that we could at least feel some modicum of control.
The fact that there is not only not an alliance (with other minorities), but that feminism has been guilty throughout its history of rampant racism, homophobia, xenophobia, and other failures of empathy, shows that the mainstream goal was always participation in the system, rather than its destruction. The goal was to share in the power, not to reveal this powerful/powerless dynamic as evil.
The easiest way for a group to build its sense of identity is through the rejection or the demeaning of that group’s “opposite”.
Defining a group by their negative characteristics in order to define yourself as “at least not that” has a way of hardening that exact unwanted characteristic.
It’s easier to complain about the power you don’t have than to think about how you are wielding the power you do have.
Much of contemporary feminism uses the language of power. Girls need to be “empowered”, women need to fight for “self-empowerment”, “girl power”, etc. There is little conversation about what that power is to be used for, because that is supposed to be obvious: whatever the girl wants. But growing up in a system that measures success by money, that values consumerism and competition, that devalues compassion and community, these girls and women have already been indoctrinated into what to want. Without close examination, without conversion into a different way of thinking and acting, what that girl wants is going to be money, power, and, possibly, her continued subjugation, because a feminism that does not provide an alternative to the system will still have the system’s values.
Quick fixes are not enough, political correctness that is not matched with institutional change is ineffective, and disproportionate punishment does nothing but create resentment and fear.