Gives Light Gives Light 评价人数不足

Gives Light,片段记录

胡桃
2018-04-26 16:11:44

Skyler是一个出生在印第安保留地的肖松尼族少年。五岁的时候,Skyler母亲被人杀死,他则被凶手割喉,从此失去了说话的能力。母亲死后,Skyler的父亲带着他离开保留地,在一个偏僻的小城定居下来。Skyler不能说话,也没有朋友。从五岁到十六岁,父亲是他唯一的朋友和依靠。

Skyler的父亲是一个“蛇头”。虽然干着违法的生计,但是他一直很坦然。

I like what I do.Other people have the right to enjoy my country as much as I do.

但是他也告诉Skyler,如果他三天没有回家,就去警察局报案。Skyler十六岁的时候,他的父亲果真失踪了。Skyler被警察送回了保留地,寄住在十一年没见过面的奶奶家。

在保留地的生活让Skyler的人生发生了巨大的变化。首先,他终于交到了第一个朋友:邻居家的女儿安妮。安妮的小弟弟耳朵听不见,所以她可以使用熟练的手语。Skyler在保留地学到的的大多数技能,比如做饭,制作玻璃器皿和编篮子都是安妮教给他的。

印第安原住民的生活从古到今都遵循互助的原则。在保留地,所有的人都互相认识,会互相帮助。Skyler的奶奶年纪大了,种香料的人家会送来晒干的调料,务农的人家会送来肉,送肉的男

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Skyler是一个出生在印第安保留地的肖松尼族少年。五岁的时候,Skyler母亲被人杀死,他则被凶手割喉,从此失去了说话的能力。母亲死后,Skyler的父亲带着他离开保留地,在一个偏僻的小城定居下来。Skyler不能说话,也没有朋友。从五岁到十六岁,父亲是他唯一的朋友和依靠。

Skyler的父亲是一个“蛇头”。虽然干着违法的生计,但是他一直很坦然。

I like what I do.Other people have the right to enjoy my country as much as I do.

但是他也告诉Skyler,如果他三天没有回家,就去警察局报案。Skyler十六岁的时候,他的父亲果真失踪了。Skyler被警察送回了保留地,寄住在十一年没见过面的奶奶家。

在保留地的生活让Skyler的人生发生了巨大的变化。首先,他终于交到了第一个朋友:邻居家的女儿安妮。安妮的小弟弟耳朵听不见,所以她可以使用熟练的手语。Skyler在保留地学到的的大多数技能,比如做饭,制作玻璃器皿和编篮子都是安妮教给他的。

印第安原住民的生活从古到今都遵循互助的原则。在保留地,所有的人都互相认识,会互相帮助。Skyler的奶奶年纪大了,种香料的人家会送来晒干的调料,务农的人家会送来肉,送肉的男孩,腼腆的Aubrey成了Skyler的第二个朋友。

到了晚上,每家人都会端出一份食物。大家点起篝火,聚在一起吃饭,唱歌,讲故事。Skyler在吃饭的时候认识了第三个男孩Rafael。Rafael身材高大,性格阴沉,在部落里一直独来独往。他的父亲在十一年前杀死了七个女人,Skyler的母亲正是其中的一个。但在阴郁的表面下,Rafael也只是个普通的十六岁小孩,喜欢读莎士比亚,画画,听重金属摇滚,还会纹身。但是父亲犯下的罪就像沉重的枷锁一样缠着Rafael,他怕自己有一天会变成像他父亲那样的怪物。于是Rafael用纹身来控制自己的情绪。感到愤怒的时候,他就在身上纹一截锁链。当Skyler遇见Rafael的时候,他的手臂和大腿上纹满了长长的锁链。

因为他父亲犯下的罪行,Rafael的母亲最后抑郁而死,整个部落里只有他的舅舅愿意接纳他。书里几次描写Rafael在辫子里插了一根的鸽子羽毛,这是他用来怀念自己母亲一种方式。

"There's this dove that visits my house," he said. "She molts all the time, especially in late summer. I pick up the feathers on the ground and keep them. It's--" He stopped, considering himself, but went on. "Doves are among the only birds that produce milk for their young. So they're...they represent mothers.”

Rafael为当年的受害者画了无数的画像,有一些被他藏到了死者的墓碑后面,有一些被他贴在了死者家人遗弃的房子里。Skyler就是在造访从前的老宅的时候,看到贴在墙上的画,还有偷偷躲在里面画画的Rafael。然后,这两个最不可能成为朋友的人,从那一天开始变成了朋友。Rafael带着Skyler看狼群,

We were walking back to the grotto, his arm wrapped low around my hips, when Rafael pointed out a little animal rummaging in the bushes for food.
"It's a coywolf pup," he said. "They get along with humans, like coyotes do, but they live and hunt in packs, like wolves. The young aren't supposed to hunt on their own. His mom must not be far.

看夕阳下的峡谷,

Sitting on the promontory, in some ways, felt like sitting on top of the world.Probably to be expected when we were so impossibly high above the rest of the landscape.I noticed something else, too, that I hadn't before: As the sun trailed slowly west, the clouds hanging low in the sky crept closer to the canyons and the cliffs.The air all around us was misty and cool.I wondered if Heaven was like that, the clouds all around you, your best friend at your side.

还有在破晓才会盛开的野花。

The sky tinged slowly blue-black with dawn, Rafael looking alert.The first sign of sunlight appeared above the horizon, dim, the color of saffron.It spread like wildfire into the night and lit the walls of drifting clouds, previously invisible, with a fiery haze. The sun was soon to follow, rosy when it peeked shyly above the distant cliffs and crags, white-gold when it caught up with its own aura. Now the sky was gritty and blue, like ocean slate--like Rafael's eyes.The fiery clouds cooled to opal, milky and mute-white. And the blue flowers all unraveled their folded petals and opened at the same time.
"Blue stars," Rafael said quietly. His voice was very close to my ear. I realized his chin was on my shoulder. "They open at dawn and close at dusk.”

Skyler则用攒下来的钱买了彩色铅笔送给Rafael,还带他去镇上的电影院看电影。他们的感情越来越深。

夏天的帕瓦节是印第安人的重要庆典。通常由一个部落主办,其他各族盛装出席。对从小长在保留区外的Skyler来说,帕瓦节上的一切都是新奇的,比如每个部落的服饰,各种各样的舞蹈,还有原住民的传统美食。

Rafael's silence gave me the opportunity to admire the visiting tribes and the attractions they had brought with them.The Hopi were solemn and intimidating in dark, heavy regalia, their intricate hairstyles bordering on alien. I wasn't at all sure how they managed to move around while wearing all those layers; I bet they were sweating bullets underneath their clothes.The Pawnee were by far the simplest dressed, their lightweight summer skins without color or embellishment. Some of them, I noticed, had even come in t-shirts and jeans. On the other end of the spectrum were the Navajo, who couldn't have looked showier unless they had dunked their heads in buckets of paint. They were flashy and foreign in the brightest of clothes, soft silk and shining taffeta, feathered head dresses and beaded headbands and great big mantles hanging from their shoulders like tumbling wings. I thought they looked mythical, and certainly poetic.

安妮告诉Skyler,舞蹈是庆典中最重要的一部分,来自不同部落的年轻人就是通过这种方式认识新的朋友,甚至找到终生伴侣的。

Her face lit up. "Oh, it's wonderful!" she told me. "Every season we get together with the other tribes for a big celebration. The summer pauwau's always in Nettlebush. We all put on our regalia and show off our different styles--dancing and music and sweets--for some, it's quite competitive. But, she added, and I saw an impetuous twinkle of mischief in her eyes, "for others, it's the perfect time to start feeling...amorous.”

在帕瓦节上,Skyler看着好朋友安妮和她听不见声音的小弟弟一起跳舞。

I watched Annie spinning beneath the stars, a shawl the color of briar rose tossing about her shoulders and arms, and she was a seismic whirlwind, quick and burning, to rival the strongest of fires.I watched Joseph dance in light, sprightly steps around his sisters, arms aloft, and the brilliant blue fringe hanging from his elbows and knees tumbled like grass in the spring air. For a moment, I thought he could hear the music he was dancing to.

他自己也受到了一个纳瓦霍女孩的邀请。虽然这一场舞跳得他和Rafael都很不情愿,但是在帕瓦节之后,两个人终于确认了彼此的心意,在一起了。

当然,对任何一个十几岁的小孩来说,喜欢上同性都是一件让人不安的事情。在感到幸福的同时,Skyler和Rafael也会对亲人的反应心生畏惧。Skyler时常想起他爸爸用来骂人的脏话(fag),也害怕被他的奶奶和好朋友厌恶。而Rafael作为本书里最大的刺儿头,就算心里也有畏惧,但在对Skyler表达爱意的时候从来都不会畏缩。(因为这是一本YA,所以里面并没有肉。但是两个小孩接起吻来可是一点都不含糊。)磨坊的后面,森林里,教堂的钟楼上,甚至是Skyler的家门口,只要感觉来了,随时都能亲到一起去。

Skyler的奶奶和安妮很快就发现了他和Rafael的关系,不过她们都用自己的方式接纳了这段感情。Skyler的奶奶脾气不好,不会哄小孩。但是看见Skyler在家门口接吻,她只是抱怨了一句辣眼睛就去睡觉了。

安妮对Skyler的开导,是全书里我最喜欢的一段文字。她用印第安文化中的“双生灵魂”来开解Skyler。

“Didn't your father ever tell you about the two-spirit?"
I shook my head. I shifted, so that I faced her similarly.
"I think the practice phased out with the advent of Christianity, but before that, it was quite common for a Plains widow to marry another woman, or for a widower to marry another man. In the old days, marriage wasn't about love, just creating and raising children, so the stipulation was that the widow or widower already had children from the former marriage. Men and women who the former marriage. Men and women who fulfilled the roles of both genders--we called them two-spirit."
Dad definitely hadn't told me about that. Then again, there was a lot Dad had never told me about his heritage.Our heritage.
I think I'm just one-spirit, I signed. I don't feel like a girl. Sorry.
Annie rolled her eyes good-naturedly and slapped my arm.
“Now listen to me," Annie said. "I meant it when I said it's none of my business. I know what the western world's like. I had a very unfortunate pen pal once, a Maria Giaballi, her mom served in the army with mine. She had the nerve to ask me whether I was a virgin! Nothing's private in the western world, but Shoshone aren't like that. We're very private people. We don't want to know what you're up to behind closed doors, and we'll never ask. Skylar, nobody's going to persecute you because you're gay.”

非常感人的一段话了。

得到了大家的祝福,Skyler和Rafael是不是就可以幸福的生活下去了呢?并不是。Skyler和父亲在城里的房子被拍卖了,他住了十一年的家就这么消失了,Skyler只能把父亲的东西搬回奶奶家。当初为了寻找父亲的下落,Skyler被迫向警察透露了他的职业,所以Skyler家附近时不时就会有FBI造访,社工也会频繁过来查看,让他非常担心自己有一天会被带走。父亲的消失仍然像一块大石头一样压在Skyler胸口,他时常会焦虑得睡不着觉。他不敢去想,如果有一天父亲回来了,他该怎么解释自己不仅是gay,而且还和杀母仇人的儿子走到一起了?


剧情大概就写这么多吧,留一个结尾的悬念。这本书我标记的片段太多了,都放在这里不知道要写多长,只能把反复看过的一些贴过来,方便以后重读。

这本书的好需要在读的过程中慢慢体会。作者笔调有一种宁静,舒缓的节奏,没有跌宕起伏的情节,但是每一个细节都带着丰沛的情感。作者为书取的标题是“Gives Light”,这是Rafael的姓。我认为也有“Rafael的存在照亮了Skyler的人生”这样的含义。但是说真的,看完这本书之后,作为旁观者的我都感觉就像做了一场阳光灿烂的美梦一样,心里是暖的。

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