书摘与几处中英翻译比较

Temperament
2018-01-30 21:01:36
第五章
不少书从书页间漾出久远年代的气息。那是长久安息在封面与封面之间的深邃的知识和敏锐的情感所释放的特有芳香。
When I open them, most of the books have the smell of an earlier time leaking out between the pages – a special odor of the knowledge and emotions that for ages have been calmly resting between the covers.
*** 林少华的翻译风格可概括为添枝加叶。田村卡夫卡内心敏感,但行事利索、果断、军事化,他的话语风格是简练、干涩、甚至略显冷漠的(“不知道”,“也许”,“非常”)。英译无疑忠实的翻出了这种风格。“知识和情感的特有芳香”一旦被译成“深邃的知识和敏锐的情感所释放的特有芳香”,不但冗长拖沓,而且人物特点全无。

坐在沙发上东看西看的时间里,我意识到这房间正是我长期寻求的场所。我无疑是在寻找仿佛世界凹坑那样静谧的地方,可是迄今为止那只是个虚拟的秘密场所。那样的场所居然是既存在于某处,对此我还不能安全信以为真。我闭目合眼,大口吸气,于是它像绵软的云絮驻留我的心间。感觉妙不可言。我用手心慢慢抚摸套着奶油色外罩的沙发,之后站起身走到竖式钢琴跟前,打开琴盖,十个手指轻轻放在微微泛




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第五章
不少书从书页间漾出久远年代的气息。那是长久安息在封面与封面之间的深邃的知识和敏锐的情感所释放的特有芳香。
When I open them, most of the books have the smell of an earlier time leaking out between the pages – a special odor of the knowledge and emotions that for ages have been calmly resting between the covers.
*** 林少华的翻译风格可概括为添枝加叶。田村卡夫卡内心敏感,但行事利索、果断、军事化,他的话语风格是简练、干涩、甚至略显冷漠的(“不知道”,“也许”,“非常”)。英译无疑忠实的翻出了这种风格。“知识和情感的特有芳香”一旦被译成“深邃的知识和敏锐的情感所释放的特有芳香”,不但冗长拖沓,而且人物特点全无。

坐在沙发上东看西看的时间里,我意识到这房间正是我长期寻求的场所。我无疑是在寻找仿佛世界凹坑那样静谧的地方,可是迄今为止那只是个虚拟的秘密场所。那样的场所居然是既存在于某处,对此我还不能安全信以为真。我闭目合眼,大口吸气,于是它像绵软的云絮驻留我的心间。感觉妙不可言。我用手心慢慢抚摸套着奶油色外罩的沙发,之后站起身走到竖式钢琴跟前,打开琴盖,十个手指轻轻放在微微泛黄的键盘上,又合上琴盖,在带有葡萄花纹的旧地毯上来回踱步。我拉了拉开窗关窗用的旧拉杆,拧亮落地灯,熄掉。一幅一幅看墙上挂的画。然后重新坐回沙发,开始接着看书,把注意力集中在书上。
As I relax on the sofa and gaze around the room a thought hits me: This is exactly the place I’ve been looking for forever. A little hideaway in some sinkhole somewhere. I’d always thought of it as a secret, imaginary place, and can barely believe that it actually exists. I close my eyes and take a breath, and like a gentle cloud the wonder of it all settles over me. I slowly stroke the creamish cover of the sofa, then stand up and walk over to the piano and lift the cover, laying all ten fingers down on the slightly yellowed keys. I shut the cover and walk across the faded grape-patterned carpet to the window and test the antique handle that opens and closes it. I switch the floor lamp on and off, then check out all the paintings hanging on the walls. Finally I plop back down on the sofa and pick up reading where I left off, focusing on The Arabian Nights for a while.

第七章
百年之后,置身此处的人们(也包括我)应该从地上荡然无存,化为尘埃化为灰烬。如此一想,我产生了一种不可思议的心情。这里所有的人或物都显得虚无缥缈,仿佛即将被风吹散消失。我伸开自己的双手定定地细看。我到底为了什么如此东奔西窜呢?何苦这么苦苦挣着求生呢?
但我摇摇头,不再往外看,不再想百年后的事。要想现在的事。图书馆有该看的书,体育馆有要对付的器材。考虑那么远的事又有什么用呢!
“必须那样,”叫乌鸦的少年说,“毕竟你是世界上最顽强的十五岁少年!”
In a hundred years everybody here – me included – will have disappeared from the face of the earth and turned into ashes or dust. A weird thought, but everything in front of me starts to seem unreal, like a gust of wind could blow it all away.
I spread my hands out in front of me and take a good hard look at them. What am I always so tense about? Why this desperate struggle just to survive? I shake my head, turn from the window, clear my mind of thoughts of a hundred years away. I’ll just think about now. About books waiting to be read in the library, machines in the gym I haven’t worked out on. Thinking about anything else isn’t going to get me anywhere.
“That’s the ticket,” Crow tells me. “Remember, you’re supposed to be the toughest fifteen-year-old on the planet.”
*** 顽强——即不被思虑过度分心,能够留足注意力处理眼下的事。这是一个有趣的诠释,因为通常来讲,顽强多是用在更艰苦卓绝的任务上,绝非这么平凡琐碎。比如星野用尽全力翻转“入口石”的顽强。而此处的顽强是务实的,是令狐冲不顾怀疑侧目护送仪琳的师妹的顽强。

第十章
中田心悦诚服的看着短毛猫雷厉风行的工作作风。
Impressed, he watched as Mimi went about her business with a brisk efficiency.
*** 很幽默,哪怕由林少华的革命腔译出。

之后两人分别就鳗鱼沉思默想了一番。只有沉思鳗鱼的时间从他们之间流过。
The two of them were silent for a time, eel musings filling the passing moments.
*** 生活美学

第十三章
词章之乐。若词章乐不起来,必然半途而废。
I’m not a fast reader. I like to linger over each sentence, enjoying the style. If I don’t enjoy the writing, I stop.
*** “若词章乐不起来”十分费解。英译好理解得多:慢读能够读出作者的行文风格,如果不喜欢其风格,便不继续读下去。

舒伯特么,让我来说,乃是向万事万物的存在状态挑战而又败北的音乐。这是浪漫主义的本质。在这个意义上,舒伯特的音乐是浪漫主义的精华。
Schubert’s music challenges and shatters the ways of the world. That’s the essence of Romanticism, and Schubert’s music is the epitome of the Romantic.
*** 此处是我觉得中英翻译出入最大的一处。中英都翻出了浪漫主义者向世俗挑战,然而中译强调浪漫主义者之“败北”,知其不可为而为之。英译则强调浪漫主义者shatter(撼动)公序良俗,不论是否保全其身。两个版本几乎南辕北辙。就全书看来,大岛同时具有夹缝求生的意志和较为入世的处世哲学,虽然对人性抱有深刻冷静的理解,但并不悲观,很难想象大岛讲出“向万物挑战而败北是浪漫主义本质”这样的话。“败北”虽不合理,却是一个新颖的观点,它的隐藏含义是浪漫主义必须排除一切功利性,与成功背道而驰,挑战世俗同时自利的人不在浪漫主义者之列。按照英译本中规中矩的翻译,一句石破天惊的话倏然降格为经验之谈。很希望能够读日文原著,了解村上春树本来的意思。

第十五章
我在清晨安静的树林一边听鸟的叫声,一边看着本“事务处理专家”的故事(阿道夫 艾希曼)。书的底页有大岛用铅笔写的评语。我知道那是大岛的笔记。很有特点的字。
“一切都是想象力的问题。我们的责任从想象力中开始。叶芝写道:In dreams begin the responsibilities。诚哉斯言。反言之,没有想象力,责任也就无从产生,或许。一如艾希曼的事例”
Sitting in the quiet woods with birds chirping all around me, I read the story of this practical guy. In the back of the book there’s a penciled note Oshima had written. His handwriting’s pretty easy to spot: It’s all a question of imagination. Our responsibility begins with the power to imagine. It’s just like Yeats said: In dreams begin responsibilities. Flip this around and you could say that where there’s no power to imagine, no responsibility can arise. Just like we see with Eichmann.
*** 此处的“想象力”可理解为“共情的想象力 (empathetic imagination)”,即能够体会他人感受的能力、同理心。产生同理心的必要条件除了想象力,还有人文教育及批判性思维。批判性思维是人们不盲从权威、独立思考事情前因后果、并作出判断的基石。中英译本都只译出了“想象力”部分,原著很可能也没有点出“共情”,我觉得是不到位的。

第十六章
“中田君,大凡事物必有顺序。”琼尼沃克说,“看得太超前了不行。看得太超前,势必忽视脚下,人往往跌倒。可另一方面,光看脚下也不行。不看好前面,会撞上什么。所以么,要在多少往前看的同时同时按部就班处理眼下事物。这点至为关键,无论做什么”
As I mentioned, Mr. Nakata, in everything there’s a proper order,” Johhnie Walker said. “You can’t look too far ahead. Do that and you’ll lose sight of what you’re doing and stumble. I’m not saying you should focus solely on details right in front of you, mind you. You’ve got to look ahead a bit or else you’ll bump into something. You’ve got to follow the proper order and at the same time keep an eye out for what’s ahead. That’s critical, no matter what you’re doing.”
*** 对“顽强”的一个补充。

第十九章
女性递出名片,大岛不动声色地仔细看罢,放在台面上,而后抬起脸,漾出华丽的微笑凝视对方。那是极品级的微笑,足以使身心健全的女性不由得脸颊上飞起红霞,然而对方眉毛都一下不动。
The woman whips out a business card and passes it to him.
His expression unchanged, Oshima reads it carefully, places it on the counter, then looks up with a blazing smile and gazes intently at the woman. A first-class smile guranteed to make any red-blooded woman blush.
This woman, strangely enough, doesn’t react, not even a twitch of an eyebrow.

“‘有良知的女性当中难道有和我同样遭受精神折磨和我同样苟且求生的么?’”大岛说。
两人沉默的一如并列的冰山。
“索福克勒斯的《厄勒克特拉》。经典剧作。我反复看了好多遍。另外顺便说一句:gender一词说到底是表示语法上的性,表示肉体上的性我想还是用sex更为准确。”
“How could any woman of generous spirit behave otherwise, given the torments that I face,” Oshima says.
The two women stand there as silent as icebergs.
“Electra, by Sophocles. A wonderful play. And by the way, the term gender was originally used to indicate grammatical gender. My feeling is the word ‘sex’ is more accurate in terms of indicating physical sexual difference.”

痛苦这东西是个别性质的,其后有个别伤口留下。所以在追求公平和公正这点上,我想我不次于任何人。只是,更让我厌倦的,是缺乏想象力的那类人,即T S Eliot说的‘空虚的人们’。他们以稻草填充缺乏想象力的部位填充空虚的部位,而自己又浑然不觉地在那上面走来窜去,并企图将那种麻木感通过罗列空洞的言辞强加于人。
Each person feels the pain in his own way, each has his own scars. So I think I’m as concerned about fairness and justice as anybody. But what disgusts me even more are people who have no imagination. The kind T. S. Eliot calls hollow men. People who fill up that lack of imagination with heartless bits of straw, not even aware of what they’re doing. Callous people who throw a lot of empty words at you, trying to force you to do what you don’t want to.
*** 很显然空虚的人们并不是要将“那种麻木感通过罗列空洞的言辞”强加于人,而是将他们盲目笃信的教条强加于人。中译显然不准确。

归根结底,杀害佐伯青梅竹马恋人的也是那帮家伙。缺乏想象力的狭隘、咳咳、自以为是的命题、空洞的术语、被篡夺的理想、僵化的思想体系——对我来说,真正可怕的是这些东西。我从心底畏惧和憎恶这些东西。何为正确何为不正确——这当然是十分重要的问题。但这种个别判断失误,在很多情况下时候不是不可以纠正。只要有主动承认错误的勇气,一般都可以挽回。然而缺乏想象力的狭隘和苛刻却同寄生虫无异,他们改变赖以寄生的主体、改变自身形状而无限繁衍下去。这里没有获救希望。
But there’s one thing I want you to remember, Kafka. Those are exactly the kind of people who murdered Miss Saeki’s childhood sweetheart. Narrow minds devoid of imagination. Intolerance, theories cut off from reality, empty terminology, usurped ideals, inflexible systems. Those are the things that really frighten me. What I absolutely fear and loathe. Of course it’s important to know what’s right and what’s wrong. Individual errors in judgment can usually be corrected. As long as you have the courage to admit mistakes, things can be turned around. But intolerant, narrow minds with no imagination are like parasites that transform the host, change form, and continue to thrive. They’re a lost cause.

第二十一章
田村卡夫卡君,你现在所感觉的,也是多数希腊悲剧的主题。不是人选择命运,而是命运选择人。这是希腊悲剧根本的世界观。这种悲剧性——亚里士多德是这样下的定义——令人哭笑不得的是,与其说是起因于当事者的缺点,毋宁说是以其优点为杠杆产生的。我的意思你可明白?人不是因其缺点、而是因其优点而被拖入更大的悲剧之中的。索福克勒斯的《俄狄浦斯王》即是显例。俄狄浦斯王不是因其怠惰和愚钝、而恰恰是因其勇敢和正直才给他带来了悲剧。
Listen, Kafka. What you’re experiencing now is the motif of many Greek tragedies. Man doesn’t choose fate. Fate chooses man. That’s the basic worldview of Greek drama. And the sense of tragedy – according to Aristotle – comes, ironically enough, not from the protagonist’s weak points but from his good qualities. Do you know what I’m getting at? People are drawn deeper into tragedy not by their defects but by their virtues. Sophocles’s Oedipus Rex being a great example. Oedipus is drawn into tragedy not because of laziness or stupidity, but because of his courage and honesty.

第二十五章
“你认为佐伯明白那里的语句意味着什么?”
“未必。因为象征性和意味性是两个东西。她大概可以跳过意味和逻辑等繁琐的手续而把握那里应有的正确语句,像轻轻抓住空中飞舞的蝴蝶翅膀一样在梦中捕捉词语。艺术家其实就是具有回避繁琐性的资格的人。”
“Do you think Miss Saeki knew what all the lyrics mean?”
“Not necessarily. Symbolism and meaning are two separate things. I think she found the right words by bypassing procedures like meaning and logic. She captured words in a dream, like delicately catching hold of a butterfly’s wings as it flutters around. Artists are those who can evade the verbose.”
*** 很美的一句话,被“意味性”毁了。其实朴实地翻译成“象征性和意义是两个东西”就很好。林少华大概觉得“意味性”与“象征性”并列更工整。但此处用“意味性”这样几乎是自造的词来凑工整,不但不知所云,还破坏了大岛通俗而优美的语言风格。
*** "艺术家其实就是具有回避繁琐性的资格的人"也远不如英译(Artists are those who can evade the verbose)简洁,“回避”也不准确。或可译作:艺术家能够免于被琐事束缚。

第三十章
大凡物体都处于移动途中。地球也好,时间也好,概念也好,爱情也好,生命也好,信息也好,正义也好,邪恶也好,所有东西都是液体的、过渡性的,没有什么能够永远以同一形态滞留于同一场所。宇宙本身就是一个庞大的黑猫宅急便。
Every object’s in flux. The Earth, time, concepts, love, life, faith, justice, evil – they’re all fluid and in transition. They don’t stay in one form or in one place forever. The whole universe is like some big FedEx box.

契诃夫想表达的意思是:必然性这东西是自立的概念,它存在于逻辑、道德、意义之外,总之集作为职责的功能于一身。作为职责非必然的东西不应存在与那里,作为职责乃必然的东西则在那里存在。这便是dramaturgie。逻辑、道德、意义不产生于其本身,而产生于关联性之中。契诃夫是理解dramaturgie是何物的。
What Chekhov was getting at is this: necessity is an independent concept. It has a different structure from logic, morals, or meanings. Its function lies entirely in the role it plays. What doesn’t play a role shouldn’t exist. What necessity requires does need to exist. That’s what you call dramaturgy. Logic, morals, or meaning don’t have anything to do with it. It’s all a question of relationality. Chekhov understood dramaturgy very well.
*** “总之集作为职责的功能于一身。作为职责非必然的东西不应存在与那里,作为职责乃必然的东西则在那里存在”或可译为:必然性的功能由其所扮演的角色决定。不扮演任何角色的东西也就是不存在的,必然性使然的东西则必须存在。”

第三十三章
叫苦和拒绝负荷是身体的正常反应。我必须做的是安抚和制服这样的反应。
It’s the body’s normal reaction – muscles screaming out, resisting the extra burden put on them. Listening to “Little Red Corvette,” I try to soothe that reaction, suppress it.

让 杰克 卢梭有个定义——文明诞生于人类开始建造樊篱之时。堪称独具慧眼之间。的确,大凡文明都是囿于樊篱的不自由的产物。归根结底,在这个世界上,是建造高而牢固的樊篱的人类有效地生存下来。如果否认这点,你势必被赶去荒野。
Jean-Jacques Rousseau defined civilization as when people build fences. A very perceptive observation. And it’s true – civilization is the product of a fenced-in lack of freedom. The people who build high strong fences are the ones who survive the best. You deny that reality only at the risk of being driven into the wilderness yourself.

“不过那样的生存方式恐怕还是有其局限的。不可能以强壮为墙壁将自己围起来。强壮终究将被更强壮的击败,在原理上。”
“因为强壮本身成为了道德。”
佐伯微微一笑:“你理解力非常好。”
我说:“我追求的、我所追求的强壮不是一争胜负的强壮。我不希求用于反击外力的墙壁。我洗求的是接受外力、忍耐外力的强壮,是能够静静地忍受不公平不走运不理解误解和悲伤等种种情况的强壮。”
“那恐怕是最难得到的一类强壮。”
“There must be a limit to that kind of lifestyle, though,” she says. “You can’t use that strength as a protective wall around you. There’s always going to be something stronger that can overcome your fortress. At least in principle.”
“Strength itself becomes your morality.”
Miss Saeki smiles. “You catch on quickly.”
“The strength I’m looking for isn’t the kind where you win or lose. I’m not after a wall that’ll repel power coming from outside. What I want is the kind of strength to be able to absorb that outside power, to stand up to it. The strength to quietly endure things – unfairness, misfortune, sadness, mistakes, misunderstandings.”
“That’s got to be the most difficult strength of all to make you own.”
*** 对“顽强”补充。不仅是消极的顽强,因为消极的顽强亦须抵抗外力。田村卡夫卡所追求的是承受、消解、并内化外力的顽强。

第四十章
贝多芬自视甚高,对自己的才华绝对自信,对贵族阶级概不讨好。他认为唯有艺术、唯有情感的正确表露才是这世界上最为崇高、最值得致以敬意的东西,而权力和钱财则是为之服务的。
Beethoven, he (Hoshino) learned, was a proud man who believed absolutely in his own abilities and never bothered to flatter the nobility. Believing that art itself, and the proper expression of emotions, was the most sublime thing in the world, he thought political power and wealth served only one purpose: to make art possible.
*** 显然原著中“艺术”与“情感的正确表露”是并列关系,而非用“情感的正确表露”来诠释“艺术”。一个“和”就可以译出这种并列关系,而中译本用了一个顿号、两个唯有,还是无法避免歧义,让人误以为艺术此处的含义是“情感的正确表露”。另外,权力和财富的唯一目的究竟是为艺术服务(且不论这语言风格多么革命腔调),还是使艺术成为可能,两者是有细微区别的。

第四十一章
哪里也不存在旨在结束战争的战争。战争在战争本身中成长,它吮吸因暴力而流出的血、咬噬因暴力而受伤的肉发育长大。战争是一种完完全全的活物。
There’s no war that will end wars. War breeds war. Lapping up the blood shed by violence, feeding on wounded flesh. War is a perfect, self-contained being.



我原本在读上海译文出版社、林少华翻译的版本,由于多处费解,手边又有Philip Gabriel翻译的英文版本,就做了一些比较。

中文版本:
出版社: 上海译文出版社
译者: 林少华
出版年: 2014-4
页数: 576
ISBN: 9787532765454

英文版本:
Paperback: 480 pages
Publisher: Vintage (January 3, 2006)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1400079276
ISBN-13: 978-1400079278
Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 1 x 8 inches
Translated by: Philip Gabriel

人物中英名字对照
奇数章节:
田村卡夫卡(叫乌鸦的少年)Kafka Tamura (the boy named crow)
樱花 Sakura
大岛 Oshima
佐伯 Saeki

偶数章节:
冈持节子 Setsuko Okamochi
中泽医生 Doctor Nakazawa
冢山重则教授 Professor Tsukayama
中田 Nakata
星野 Hoshino
田村浩一
上校山德士 Colonel Sanders
大冢 Otsuka
川村 Kawamura
咪咪 Mimi
大河 Okawa
胡麻 Goma
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