#5

Sadie

At first, I was drawn into painful comparing again, most memorably by the particular position of a carry--the second carry from the bathroom to his bed. But soon, I forgot all about comparing, because I fell head over heels in love with Atlas. It was not something I expected. I knew that, right from the start and with every certainty, Atlas was not the "star" of this book. He was a distraction from the main storyline, a haunting ghost from the past that needed to be overcome. But against my better judgement, I absolutely adored their sweet and innocent, natural and organic love story. I tried to resist--cause I knew better--until I couldn't anymore. I don't think I've felt this much ever since THE love story. And not just when I’m reading: Simply thinking about details in their story or little things about him fills me with such pleasure that I haven't been able to stop, to the point of mysteriously losing sleep. I just wasn't made so invested by any of the other books; not by U...

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At first, I was drawn into painful comparing again, most memorably by the particular position of a carry--the second carry from the bathroom to his bed. But soon, I forgot all about comparing, because I fell head over heels in love with Atlas. It was not something I expected. I knew that, right from the start and with every certainty, Atlas was not the "star" of this book. He was a distraction from the main storyline, a haunting ghost from the past that needed to be overcome. But against my better judgement, I absolutely adored their sweet and innocent, natural and organic love story. I tried to resist--cause I knew better--until I couldn't anymore. I don't think I've felt this much ever since THE love story. And not just when I’m reading: Simply thinking about details in their story or little things about him fills me with such pleasure that I haven't been able to stop, to the point of mysteriously losing sleep. I just wasn't made so invested by any of the other books; not by Ugly Love, or Confess, or November 9, or anything else, other than Maybe Someday and that which started it all but I've given up hope of ever being able to finish--Playing Secretary. I just wasn't swept so completely off my feet by any of the other book boyfriends; not by Miles, not by Owen, or Adam, not by Ben, not by Bruce--gotta admit, and most of all—dare I say it—not even by Ridge. Sydney holds fast the crown in my heart for my-favorite-character, and Ridge used to come right after her. But with a few measly entries from a teenage girl's diary, Atlas sneaked under my skin little by little until eventually, beyond my wildest dreams, he effortlessly stole my heart and unexpectedly knocked Ridge off his throne. Come to think of it, I can conclude that it was the easiest thing in the world to love him and impossible not to. That's why it hurt. His continuing absence. Her "love" for Ryle. Ryle showing good qualities. It all hurt. So much so that I was forced to break my one rule and spoil the ending for myself. So much so that even the ending I wanted more than ANYTHING couldn't make up for how little time he had in the book. ETA: How bizarre it is to think that when there was nobody to compete with him, when even the author herself fell in love with him, Ryle did not enchant me AT ALL. He didn't even give me enough motivation to pick up the book when I had nothing else to do. A few day later, things with Atlas started heating up and I immediately switched from "reading at leisure" to "could not put it down". Also, I was suddenly put into such a happy mindset, pumped so full of a positive, life-affirming energy, you'd think I was high on drugs or something. It felt like everything in my life was suddenly better. Presented with an utterly important and heartfelt subject matter spread over the overwhelming majority of the book, and it didn't connect with me half as much as Atlas could do in half a page. What is wrong with me?

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