From sand and ash From sand and ash 评价人数不足

水太深太满

叶小辛

1.果然,欧美这些小言作者在写了几本书后,开始大量注水。缺乏文学素养的读者,还会认为注水内容文笔优美。比如这条有上百人划线的:That is not how pain works, is it? We can cause pain, but we can so seldom cure it.(说了等于没说。一定是goodreads上那些哭着喊着说“写得好美“的读者划的!)

又比如这种——

"I would take it away from you if I could. I would take it with me. I would take your pain and bear it for you." He would happily endure her sorrow if it meant she wouldn't have to.

还有这种——

"Talk to me. Maybe that will ease it. Tell me what all of this means."

让我想起了刚入职写工作报告时,老板跟我说:凑字数嘛,同一个意思,换个角度写。然后我经常在他写的报告里,看到一堆华丽丽的意义相同的排比。

对了,上述这几个句子,全部出现在同一页。不分年龄性别职业种族,说话全是这种风格,心理情绪全是一样的(不要说什么“二战当前大家一样心情沉重”。去看看描写战争的经典作品,再小的事件面前,每个人物的细节都是不一样的)。

2.除了对白注水,言谈动作也大量注入看似烘托...

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1.果然,欧美这些小言作者在写了几本书后,开始大量注水。缺乏文学素养的读者,还会认为注水内容文笔优美。比如这条有上百人划线的:That is not how pain works, is it? We can cause pain, but we can so seldom cure it.(说了等于没说。一定是goodreads上那些哭着喊着说“写得好美“的读者划的!)

又比如这种——

"I would take it away from you if I could. I would take it with me. I would take your pain and bear it for you." He would happily endure her sorrow if it meant she wouldn't have to.

还有这种——

"Talk to me. Maybe that will ease it. Tell me what all of this means."

让我想起了刚入职写工作报告时,老板跟我说:凑字数嘛,同一个意思,换个角度写。然后我经常在他写的报告里,看到一堆华丽丽的意义相同的排比。

对了,上述这几个句子,全部出现在同一页。不分年龄性别职业种族,说话全是这种风格,心理情绪全是一样的(不要说什么“二战当前大家一样心情沉重”。去看看描写战争的经典作品,再小的事件面前,每个人物的细节都是不一样的)。

2.除了对白注水,言谈动作也大量注入看似烘托氛围,但实际没啥作用的内容。随手一翻,如下——

“Aldo cried, his eyes wild as they walked from the train station, unsure of where to go now that hell had descended on the city.”(您写写人物动作就好,我们会get到他不知道去哪的。您写写车站怎么混乱什么状况就行,我们会get到城市如地狱的)

以虚写实的太多了。情节还没铺垫好,人物情绪在起跑线已经到位。简直……让我想起了国内某个同样以文笔优美而闻名的小言作者(不敢提名字),而后者的手法还是高明得多。就像电影里,硬是用配乐逼观众落泪,然而后者的配乐比前者动听多了。

3.最后,本来就是放松时抓起来看的读物,我在较什么真呢?(谁让我脑子停不下来!)

每部作品都有它的使命,有的满足基本的情感需求,有的不甘心于此。这本显然是前者。看看,这么多受众感动不已,使命已达。

(最最后:我只想写个书评,为什么一定要我打分?!不合我胃口的,不等于不好呀。)

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