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Fear itself

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I am way beyond appreciate life for getting to read this book recently.

My life had changed drastically after grad school, and I was drifting far away from the summer when I was 15- when I started to learn about depression, PTSD to so much more in my academic life later on. Although I kept taking classes in mental illness and suicide and emergency training sessions, I felt myself leaving this realm forever, until recently, until I read this book.

William Styron's words has a magical power to take me back in time, gazing myself in my 15, knowing that how close I once stood by the problem and confronted it with a stout heart that doesn't match the age of my age by then but of the one I loved. Then I started to see how 10 years later I've transformed, wandering behind the shield of reason and logic, simplicity and blind pureness, completely forget what fear means but keep running away from my most enormous dread, then failed to discover that the soul I hope kept untainte...
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I am way beyond appreciate life for getting to read this book recently.

My life had changed drastically after grad school, and I was drifting far away from the summer when I was 15- when I started to learn about depression, PTSD to so much more in my academic life later on. Although I kept taking classes in mental illness and suicide and emergency training sessions, I felt myself leaving this realm forever, until recently, until I read this book.

William Styron's words has a magical power to take me back in time, gazing myself in my 15, knowing that how close I once stood by the problem and confronted it with a stout heart that doesn't match the age of my age by then but of the one I loved. Then I started to see how 10 years later I've transformed, wandering behind the shield of reason and logic, simplicity and blind pureness, completely forget what fear means but keep running away from my most enormous dread, then failed to discover that the soul I hope kept untainted had been eroded by guilt and reminiscence.

In 80 pages, he leads me go through the past 12 years to get to this conclusion:

There are only two ways for us to deal with a lethal problem, confront it or go a complete different direction from it, which counterparts are our most humane emotional acceptance or rational understanding.

I truly hope that those who seeks help could find it, who needs hope could attain it, and who wants peace could settle from within, through Styron's sensitive and genuine words.

And in the end, we all could come to an understanding of the last sentence of this book:

And so we came forth, and once again beheld the stars.
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