翻译辨误

小破孩3000
2021-03-26 看过

在比对《论自由》英文原书和孟凡礼译本(上海三联书店,2019)后,讨论一些可能的翻译问题,仅供参考。(暂时前三章)(更新第四、五章)

这里还参考了商务印书馆的许宝骙译本。

本文对英语中词和词组的释义,绝大部分来自《牛津高阶词典》,剩下一部分来自 Wiktionary 。


第一章

1. 原文:It (= The question) is so far from being new, that, in a certain sense, it has divided mankind, almost from the remotest ages;...

孟译:它远非什么新的问题,从某种意义上说,它几乎自远古以来就把人类分别开来,……(P1)

此处对divide的翻译不准确。考虑到主语为“问题”,divide应为(使)意见不一致,(使)有分歧。

试译:这一问题远非新的问题,从某种意义上说,几乎自有人类以来,人们就对这一问题有所争议;……

2. 原文:The will of the people, moreover, practically means the will of the most numerous or the most active part of the people; the majority, or those who succeed in making themselves accepted as the majority; ...

孟译:而且,人民的意志实际上只是大多数人的意志,或者是人民中最活跃的一部分人的意志;而所谓大多数又或者只是使他们自己成功地被接受为大多数的那些人而已;……(P4)

此处两个分句中or前后的部分相互对应,即the majority解释the most numerous,而those who succeed in making themselves accepted as the majority解释the most active part。

试译:此外,人们的意志,在实际中表现为人们中数量最多或最活跃部分的意志——也就是“多数”,或者成功使自己得以认可,成为“多数”的人。

3. 原文:Like other tyrannies, the tyranny of the majority was at first, and is still vulgarly, held in dread, chiefly as operating through the acts of the public authorities.

孟译:像其他暴政一样,多数者暴政之所以可怕,起初且一般仍然被认为,主要是因为它是通过公共权力的措施来施行的。(P4)

此处对as的翻译错误。hold...as...为一组搭配,“认为...是...;把...视作...”,而非“因为”之意。

试译:如同对其他种种暴政,人们从起初,到现在仍庸俗地畏惧多数的暴政,认为它主要经由公共权力机构的行动起作用。

4. 原文:Sometimes their reason—at other times their prejudices or superstitions: often their social affections, not seldom their antisocial ones, their envy or jealousy, their arrogance or contemptuousness: ...

孟译:有时人们的理由(甚至有的时候不过就是他们的偏见或迷信)常常就是他们的社会情感,或那些并不罕见的反社会情感,诸如羡慕或嫉妒、傲慢或轻蔑等等;……(P6)

此处并列关系错误。reason和prejudices or superstitions并列,同为解释上文的因素。

试译:(上文所说的)这些因素,有时是人们的理性,有时候是偏见或迷信;常是社会性情感,不过反社会情感也不少见,如嫉妒、傲慢、蔑视等等。

5. 原文:The only case in which the higher ground has been taken on principle and maintained with consistency, by any but an individual here and there, is that of religious belief: ...

孟译:我们仅能从宗教信仰的事例中看到,各处都有个别之士在原则上采取更高的立场,并维持其一以贯之。……(P7)

此处any but 译错。any/anything but 的意思是“绝不;根本不(definitely not)”。

试译:只有在宗教信仰中有唯一的例子,绝非零零散散的个人,在原则上有着充分依据,又能一贯地保持不变。

6. 原文:Those who are still in a state to require being taken care of by others, must be protected against their own actions as well as against external injury.

孟译:对于那些还需由别人照顾的人来说,必须像防御外部伤害一样防范他们自己的行为。(P10)

此处对被动的翻译不准确,极易让人误解为主语为“人们”。

试译:对于仍要求别人照顾的人,我们必须不但保护他们免于外来的伤害,而且同样的保护其免于自身行为带来的伤害。

7. 原文:It will be convenient for the argument, if, instead of at once entering upon the general thesis, we confine ourselves in the first instance to a single branch of it, on which the principle here stated is, if not fully, yet to a certain point, recognised by the current opinions.

孟译:为了便于论述,我们先不立即进入一般的主题,而是首先只就其中一个分支加以论证,以表明这里所陈述的原则如果不是全部,也可以在某一点上被通行的观念认可。(P14)

此处对定语从句所修饰词找错。which其实很明显指代正前面的branch;而这里的on,正是opinions on...的倒装。

试译:为了讨论方便起见,我们不立刻深入一般论题,而是第一步限定于一个分支;对这一分支的现有观点,即便不说完全承认,也至少在一定程度上承认前文所述的原则为真。


第二章

1. 原文:...; and, speaking generally, it is not, in constitutional countries, to be apprehended, that the government, whether completely responsible to the people or not, will often attempt to control the expression of opinion, except when in doing so it makes itself the organ of the general intolerance of the public.

孟译: ……;而且一般说来,在立宪国家,无论政府是否对人民负全责,都不必过虑它会经常对意见表达施加控制,除非它使自己作为代表一般公众不复宽容的机构,才敢这样去做。(P17)

此处 intolerance of the public一般的来看确实有两个可能含义,一是把of看做主格作用,即公众不容(异己),二是把of看做宾格作用,即不容公众(异议)。按照上文应选第二种。这样我们也知道general应译为“整体的;全面的”(not limited to one part or aspect of a person or thing)。

试译:通常说来,在宪政国家,无论政府是否对人们完全负责,人们都不应顾虑政府常常图谋控制言论表达,除了政府这样做时,让自己变为全面不容公众异议的机构。

2. 原文:To refuse a hearing to an opinion, because they are sure that it is false, is to assume that their certainty is the same thing as absolute certainty.

孟译:因为他们确定一个意见是错误的,就拒绝听取,这就是把他们的确定性等同于绝对的确定性了。(P18)

此处对hearing一词翻译不准确。它应指“(行为、思想或意见的)解释机会,申辩机会(an opportunity to explain your actions, ideas or opinions)”。

试译:以他们确定意见是错的为由,而拒不给予任何申辩的机会,是在假定他们的确定性等同于“绝对确定”。

3. 原文:There is the greatest difference between presuming an opinion to be true, because, with every opportunity for contesting it, it has not been refuted, and assuming its truth for the purpose of not permitting its refutation.

孟译:因为,认定某一意见正确乃是因它在一切与之竞争的场合中都未被驳倒,与认定它正确乃是因它不容反驳,这两者之间有着天壤之别。(P20)

此处对contest和with的翻译都不准确。这里contest显然取“争辩;就…提出异议(to formally oppose a decision or statement because you think it is wrong)”之意。而with应该翻译为“尽管;虽然”。

试译:因为一个观点尽管有充分的机会质疑,但仍未被驳倒,而假定其是对的,和为了不允许反驳它的目的而假定其是对的,两者之间有天壤之别。

4.原文:Wrong opinions and practices gradually yield to fact and argument: but facts and arguments, to produce any effect on the mind, must be brought before it.

孟译:错误的意见和做法逐步屈从于事实与论证,但是要使事实与论证对人们心智产生影响,就必须让它们来至近前。(P21)

此处对bring before的翻译错误。容易在字典上查到,bring sb/sth before sb:

(formal) 将…提交讨论(或审判等)(to present sb/sth for discussion or judgement)

试译:错误的经验和观点会逐渐让位于事实和论证,但事实和论证要想对人类的心智产生影响,必须交由它审断。

5.原文:...; and in the meantime we may rely on having attained such approach to truth, as is possible in our own day.

孟译:……;同时,我们也大可相信,我们已经在今天这个时代所允许的范围内,获得了这条接近真理的路径。(P23)

此处对such...as...的翻译错误。这种从句中as一定是定语从句,恰好指代前文提到的事物。实际上,由于书中这种such...as...数量很多,这一问题在译文中并不少。

试译:同时,我们可以相信,我们已经获得了当今也可能做得到的方法通向真理。

6. 原文:It is among such that we find the instances memorable in history, when the arm of the law has been employed to root out the best men and the noblest doctrines; with deplorable success as to the men, though some of the doctrines have survived to be (as if in mockery) invoked, in defence of similar conduct towards those who dissent from them, or from their received interpretation.

孟译:我们可以发现历史上有很多这类令人难忘的事情,当其时,法律的威力竟被用来铲除最贤哲的好人和最高尚的学说;但对人们来说更为可悲的是,虽然有些学说成功地幸存下来,但却(好像反讽似的)被用来为同样的行为辩护,据以铲除那些对它们或它们的公认解释持不同看法的异见者。(P26)

此处对于the man的翻译错误。the man 指代前文的the best men。

试译:这种情况我们可以在历史中找到不可磨灭的实例,法律的武器被用于铲除最伟大的人和最高贵的学说;就伟大的人物而言,这种铲除成功得令人痛心,而某些教义却幸存了下来,……

7.原文:The feelings with which mankind now regard these lamentable transactions, especially the later of the two, render them extremely unjust in their judgment of the unhappy actors.

孟译:虽然,人们现在认为这些事情很可悲,尤其是后者,但若以这种看法来评价那些不幸的历史角色,则是非常不公平的。(P27)

此处对feelings的翻译错误。实际上,如果只看这句话的主句The feelingsrender them extremely unjust,还是很容易理解的(感情使得他们很不公平)。

试译:在看待这些令人惋惜的事件时,尤其是两件事件中的后者,人们伴随的情绪让他们十分不公地判断当时事件中不幸的参与者。

8.原文:The high-priest who rent his garments when the words were pronounced, which, according to all the ideas of his country, constituted the blackest guilt, was in all probability quite as sincere in his horror and indignation, as the generality of respectable and pious men now are in the religious and moral sentiments they profess; ...

孟译:当那位大祭司撕裂袍服而发出在其国人的一切观念之下足以构成最严重罪行的控词时,他完全可能是在真诚地表达他的憎恶与愤怒,正如今日虔诚可敬的人们在其宗教和道德情操中所表现出来的品性一样。……(P27)

此处弄错了when the words were pronounced...一句的发出者。第一,constitute这个词的意思是“(被认为或看做)是;被算作(to be considered to be sth)”,也就是说“说的话(the words)是有罪的(guilt)”。第二,从《圣经》原文来看,大祭司在听到耶稣的话以后撕毁了衣服。因此,本句的行为发出者应为耶稣。

试译:当耶稣说出了在当时国家一切观念下都算是最深重的罪大恶极之语,这时撕毁了自己衣袍的大祭司完全可能发自真心地感到恐惧和愤怒,像今日大多数正派的、虔诚的人所奉行的宗教和道德感情同样发自真心。

26:61最后有两个人上来高声说:“他曾经说过:‘我能拆毁圣殿,叁天内又把它重建起来。’”
26:62大祭司立刻站起来问耶稣:“你对他们控告你的罪名,有甚麽答辩?”
26:63耶稣还是一声不响。大祭司再对他说:“我奉上帝的名命令你起誓,告诉我们你是不是救主基督,是不是上帝的儿子?”
26:64“你说的对,我就是!但我告诉你们,将来你们要看见我坐在全能上帝的右边,驾着云从天而降。”
26:65大祭司登时气愤得撕裂衣服,高声叫着:“简直是亵渎,我们还须要甚麽证据呢?你们现在亲耳听见他亵渎上帝,
26:66你们认为他该怎样?”“判他死刑!”
——《新约·马太福音》

9.原文:..., he yet failed to see that Christianity was to be a good and not an evil to the world, with his duties to which he was so deeply penetrated.

孟译:……,但他却拙于看到基督教对他将自身责任如此深入到其中的世界有益而无害。(P28)

此处with his duties在句中明显是状语,而且fail to do指“没有做( not do sth)”。

试译:然而正是这样一个人,因为君主的责任深入身心,没有看到基督教对世界当有利而非有弊。

10.原文:...let him abstain from that assumption of the joint infallibility of himself and the multitude, which the great Antoninus made with so unfortunate a result.

孟译:……否则就该力戒将自己认为的绝对不错与大众情绪结合起来,正像伟大的安东尼带来如此不幸结果的所作所为那样。(P29)

此处有两个错误。第一,“大众情绪”纯属无中生有。据我揣测,译者这一翻译的原因可能是在前文没有看到“大众完美无缺”的内容。但是这种翻译属于译者擅自添加原文没有的东西。许译本的“双重地假想个人与民众的完美无缺”是正确的。第二,定语从句的which指代前面的assumption,明显与with搭配:the great Antoninus made so unfortunate a result with which (= assumption).

试译:否则让他断了这个念头,不要双重地假想个人与民众的完美无缺,马可•奥勒留正是因此假设造成了惨痛后果。

11.原文:...is as important a service as a human being can render to his fellow-creatures, and in certain cases, as in those of the early Christians and of the Reformers, those who think with Dr. Johnson believe it to have been the most precious gift which could be bestowed on mankind.

孟译:这是人类所能给予同胞的最重要的帮助,并且在某些情况下,就像早期基督徒和宗教改革者所做的一样重要,约翰逊博士的同道者也相信它们是能够奉献给人类的最宝贵的礼物。(P30)

此处as的翻译错误。这里的as是修饰cases,与前文的as important... as... 没有任何关系。

试译:这是是人类能够给予同胞的最重要的帮助。而且在某些情况下,如同在早期基督徒和宗教改革者的情况中,想法同约翰逊一道者认为,这是能够献予人类的最珍贵的礼物。

12.原文:It is a piece of idle sentimentality that truth, merely as truth, has any inherent power denied to error, of prevailing against the dungeon and the stake.

孟译:认为真理仅仅凭其为真理,就天然具有抵御错误的力量,能够战胜地牢与火刑,乃是一种空洞无凭的侥幸心理。(P31)

此处对denied to的翻译错误。注意到这里deny的过去分词表示被动,即正常语序为deny the power to error,应取“拒绝;拒绝给予(to refuse to allow sb to have sth that they want or ask for)”之意。

试译:人们一厢情愿地认为,真理本身天然有一种谬误所不具备的力量,可以挫败地牢和火刑。

13.原文: In respect to all persons but those whose pecuniary circumstances make them independent of the good will of other people, opinion, on this subject, is as efficacious as law; men might as well be imprisoned, as excluded from the means of earning their bread.

孟译:除了那些自身经济状况可以使他们独立于他人善意之外的人,对于其他所有人来说,在这个问题上公众舆论像法律一样有效,因为一个人因发表意见而被排挤得无以谋生,无异于被关进大牢。(P34)

此处might as well... as ...翻译不准确。might as well A as B应该是“与其B,不如A”,是用A的不可能/不合理强调B的不可能/不合理。

试译:……;人们要是从谋生的手段中被开除,还不如去坐牢。

14.原文:Those whose bread is already secured, and who desire no favours from men in power, or from bodies of men, or from the public, have nothing to fear from the open avowal of any opinions, but to be ill-thought of and ill-spoken of, and this it ought not to require a very heroic mould to enable them to bear.

孟译:对于那些衣食无忧,且并不稀罕从各级权势者、各种群体或公众那里博取任何好处之人,可以无所畏惧地公开表达任何观点,纵使因之被误解被诟病,却也并不需要多么了不起的英雄气概才能承受。(P34)

此处有两个错误。第一,have nothing to do A but do B,明显应该翻译成:除了做B外,A没什么可做的。第二,这里漏译了ought,“本应该”。

试译:那些衣食无忧,又无所谓获得有权人、各种机构或公众好感的人,公开宣称任何观点时不怕别的,只怕被人们恶意揣测和恶毒传言。然而这本该不需要人们有英雄气概才能承受。

15.原文:Those who avoid this alternative, do so by narrowing their thoughts and interest to things which can be spoken of without venturing within the region of principles, that is, to small practical matters, ...

孟译:那些不愿趋时附会的人,则通过窄化他们的思想和兴趣,以便能在原则范围之内不致犯险地说出,也就是说将话题缩小到琐碎的实践问题上;……(P35)

此处对venture within 翻译错误。venture on/into为“冒险做(to do sth, even though it involves risks)”,venture within同理。

试译:而避免在上述两者中二选其一的人,只能把自己的思考和兴趣缩窄到不用涉足原则领域就可以公开谈论的事情上,即,细小的应用问题。

16.原文:Among them we may occasionally see some man of deep conscientiousness, and subtle and refined understanding, who spends a life in sophisticating with an intellect which he cannot silence, and exhausts the resources of ingenuity in attempting to reconcile the promptings of his conscience and reason with orthodoxy, which yet he does not, perhaps, to the end succeed in doing.

孟译:我们每每会从中发现有些极富良心且思力精微者,用尽毕生之力,与自己所不愿沉默的智慧相周旋,并竭尽机巧,试图使自己良心理性所指与正统观念调和一致,但也许直到最后都徒劳无功。(P36)

此处sophisticate翻译错误。实际上,sophisticate与with并不搭配。它指“诡辩;运用诡辩术(To practice sophistry; change the meaning of, or be vague about in order to mislead or deceive. )”。

试译:在上述这种人之中,时不时出现一个富有责任心、理解力精细入微的人物,用自己不能沉寂的智力,在诡辩的歧路上耗尽终生,并竭尽自己的聪明智慧,试图把良心和理性的劝说的内容与正统观念调和起来,这种企图却往往无疾而终。

17.原文:Whatever people believe, on subjects on which it is of the first importance to believe rightly, they ought to be able to defend against at least the common objections.

孟译:人们不论信奉什么,所信是否正确都是最为首要的问题,因而在这些主题上,人们起码应该能够在最一般的反驳面前为其提供辩护。(P38)

此处对rightly翻译不准确。这里rightly指的是“以正确的方式;有充分的理由”,与whatever形成对比。

试译:不论人们想法的内容是什么,在一些问题上,第一重要的是以正当的方式去想;在这些问题上,人们应该有能力针对起码常见的反对意见进行辩护。

18.原文:The rational position for him would be suspension of judgment, and unless he contents himself with that, he is either led by authority, or adopts, like the generality of the world, the side to which he feels most inclination.

孟译:对他来说,理性的态度应该是暂时搁置判断,除非他满足于或是依从权威,或是像一般世人所做的那样,根据自己情感之所偏爱,接受其中某一方。(P39)

此处对that的翻译是错的。that指前面的suspension of judgment。译者的翻译方法实际上把that作为宾语从句的关联词翻译,造成了语法错误。

试译:对他来说,此时理性的姿态就是搁置判断;除非他把判断搁置下来就心满意足了,否则他要么接受权威的领导,要么像世上大多数人一样,按照自己感觉的倾向,接受某一边。

19.原文:Their conclusion may be true, but it might be false for anything they know: ...

孟译:他们的结论也许正确,但是他们的任何理解也许都是错的:……(P39)

此处对for的翻译是错的。如果我们知道be true for/hold true for,把true换成false同样成立。

试译:他们的结论可能是正确的,但也有可能是错的,错在他们已知的事情上。

20.原文:Conceding to this view of the subject the utmost that can be claimed for it by those most easily satisfied with the amount of understanding of truth which ought to accompany the belief of it; even so, the argument for free discussion is no way weakened.

孟译:虽然人们信奉某种真理,都理应对之有所理解,但即便我做出最大让步,姑且承认那种「认为对所奉真理不必人人都需理解」的观点,也未能丝毫削弱言论自由的理由。(P40)

很难想到这句话如何翻译成这样。实际上,一个技巧是把其中所有的定语从句都拆开:(1)对于上文这种看问题的观点,最大程度的承认某些内容;(2)这些内容是某些人能为该观点提出支持的一切说法;(3)这些人轻易满足于对真理某种理解的数量;(4)这些理解本应该伴随笃信真理而出现;(5)即使如此,对于言论自由的论证也绝不会被削弱。将这些句子稍加整理即可。

试译:笃信真理本应同时理解真理,而有些人只要有半点该有的理解便会轻易满意;对于上文这种看问题的角度,即使最大限度的承认这种人能够为之支持的所有说法,也丝毫无损于对言论自由的论证。

21. 原文:If, however, the mischievous operation of the absence of free discussion, when the received opinions are true, were confined to leaving men ignorant of the grounds of those opinions, it might be thought that this, if an intellectual, is no moral evil, and does not affect the worth of the opinions, regarded in their influence on the character.

孟译:不过,也许有人认为,当公认意见为真时,缺乏言论自由的危害之处,只不过是令人们不知道那些意见的依据而已,即便这不利于智力的发展,但却绝没有道德上的危害,也无损于那些意见影响道德人心的价值。(P41)

此处译者漏译了虚拟语气,导致句意改变。

试译:然而,当公认的意见是正确的,假设缺乏言论自由的危害作用仅限于让人们对意见的理由依据一无所知,有人就可能认为,这虽然是一种智力上的危害,但没有道德上的危害,而且从这些意见对人们品德的影响来看,也不会影响到它们的价值。

22.原文:The great chapter in human history which this fact occupies and fills, cannot be too earnestly studied and meditated on.

孟译:此类事实占据并充斥于人类历史的大量篇章,却未被真正认真地研究与思考过。(P42)

此处cannot... too... 很明显的错误。

试译:这种真实的情况在人类历史上占据了大幅篇章,我们必须严肃认真地研究和沉思。

23.原文:But though this gradual narrowing of the bounds of diversity of opinion is necessary in both senses of the term, being at once inevitable and indispensable, we are not therefore obliged to conclude that all its consequences must be beneficial.

孟译:但是尽管逐渐缩小意见分歧的边界,因不可避免与必不可少而有其必要,我们也并不一定要得出结论,认为这一切结果都必然有利。(P47)

此处作者玩了一个文字游戏。由于necessary同时有(1)必需的;必要的;(2)必然的;不可避免的这两个意思,所以作者说在necessary一词的两个意义上(in both senses of the term)。这里建议作注解指出。

24.原文:Such being the partial character of prevailing opinions, even when resting on a true foundation, every opinion which embodies somewhat of the portion of truth which the common opinion omits, ought to be considered precious, with whatever amount of error and confusion that truth may be blended.

孟译:既然盛行之说都存在着片面性,因而即便其所据之基础真实有效,那些含有为通行之说所遗漏的些许真理之光的每一项意见,不管它在真理上掺杂了多少错误和混乱,都值得珍视。(P50)

此处even when...一句修饰前半句,而非后半句。

试译:既然主流意见们——即使建立在正确的基础上——有上述的片面性特征,任何意见如果某种程度上包含了普遍意见所忽略的真理,不管真理中同时掺杂了多少错误和含混,都应该受到珍视。

25.原文:St. Paul, a declared enemy to this Judaical mode of interpreting the doctrine and filling up the scheme of his Master, equally assumes a pre-existing morality, namely, that of the Greeks and Romans; ...

孟译:故而圣保罗也要公然违背犹太人的解经模式,使用希腊和罗马原有的道德信念来补充主训;……(P52)

此处漏译了assumes a pre-existing morality一句(这一句与前文是对应的)。

试译:圣保罗作为这种犹太式做法的敌人,公开表态反对阐释教义、为耶稣的体系框架填满内容的方法,但他同样假定一种业已存在的道德体系,即希腊和罗马式道德体系。

26.原文:Christian morality (so called) has all the characters of a reaction; it is, in great part, a protest against Paganism.

孟译:基督教道德(姑且如此称之)具有反激运动的一切特征,它大部分都以对异端信仰的抗议形式出现。(P53)

此处对reaction一词翻译错误。联系下文,reaction指“反对变革;保守(opposition to social or political progress or change)”。

试译:所谓的基督教道德,具有保守派的一切特征;在很大程度上,它是对异教信仰的抗议。

27.原文:In its horror of sensuality, it made an idol of asceticism, which has been gradually compromised away into one of legality.

孟译:因其畏惧纵欲犹如蛇蝎,遂树立禁欲苦行为偶像,这种做法已逐渐通过折中进入典章律法。(P53)

此处对compromise的翻译是错的。这里应取“(尤指因行为不很明智)使陷入危险,使受到怀疑(to bring sb/sth/yourself into danger or under suspicion, especially by acting in a way that is not very sensible)”之意。而away指“直到完全消失”(如fade away)。

试译:它恐惧于人们的感官享受,而崇拜禁欲主义——到现在崇拜禁欲主义逐渐损失了声誉以至殆尽,人们转而崇拜合法性。


第三章

1. 原文:The majority, being satisfied with the ways of mankind as they now are (for it is they who make them what they are), cannot comprehend why those ways should not be good enough for everybody; ...

孟译:多数人以人类现有习俗为满足,盖现有习俗即是大多数人所为之,如此,他们就不能理解为什么那些习俗并非对每个人都足够好;……(P63)

此处漏译了should,使得句意改变。

试译:大部分人对于人们像自己现在那样的生活方式很满意(因为正是大众造就了自己),他们不能理解为什么对有的人来说这种生活竟然还不够好。

2.原文:...; and what is more, spontaneity forms no part of the ideal of the majority of moral and social reformers, but is rather looked on with jealousy, as a troublesome and perhaps rebellious obstruction to the general acceptance of what these reformers, in their own judgment, think would be best for mankind.

孟译:甚且,在多数道德和社会革新者的理想中,个性舒展就根本不在考虑之列,反而以嫉视的心理认为,其对他们自认为最有益于人类的良法美意获得普遍接受只会徒生滋扰,甚至可能成为叛然相违的障碍。(P63)

此处对jealousy的翻译不准确。这里的jealousy,显然不是(因为羡慕别人有自己没有的)嫉妒,而是指“怀疑;戒备(Suspecting, suspicious)”

试译:甚至,在大部分道德改革者和社会改革者的理想标准中,根本没有个人自发性的一席之地;相反,它被人们以戒备的眼光视为一种烦人的、叛逆的障碍,阻碍大众接受在这些改革者看来对人类最好的东西。

3.原文:And these qualities he requires and exercises exactly in proportion as the part of his conduct which he determines according to his own judgment and feelings is a large one.

孟译:并且,在行为上,他做决定根据自己的判断和感觉的成分越大,他所需要和运用的这类属性也就越多。(P65)

此处译者漏译了is a large one,它的意思是,某种特点的品质是很广泛的一类。

试译:一个人对某些品质的需要和锻炼,完全正比于人们行为中有多少是根据自己的判断和感觉决定的;这些品质构成很广泛的一类。

4.原文:There has been a time when the element of spontaneity and individuality was in excess, and the social principle had a hard struggle with it.

孟译:自发与个性的成分一度确实是太过了,社会规范与之进行了艰难的斗争。(P66)

此处漏译了the element of,指“少量;有点;有些(a small amount of a quality or feeling)”。

试译:曾有一度,少量的自发性和个性也显过多,社会规范和它进行了艰难的斗争。

5.原文:There is a different type of human excellence from the Calvinistic; a conception of humanity as having its nature bestowed on it for other purposes than merely to be abnegated.

孟译:世上本来就有与加尔文教迥异的人性完善的类型:那是一种比较人道的观念,因为它认为人被赋予各种天性本是为了让他完成其他各种目的,而非仅仅为了压抑克制。(P69)

此处humanity翻译错误。这里根本没有涉及到任何“人道”的概念,humanity在此指“人;人类”。

试译:除了加尔文派式的人类美德,还有另一种类型的人类卓越品质;这种构想下的人类,不是把自己的天性单纯舍弃掉,而是别有他用。

6.原文:...; nor would a Pericles, if we had one in these days, be without anything good which belonged to John Knox.

孟译:……;而假使伯里克利生活在如今这个时代,却无约翰·诺克斯之所长,则自身所长也就不会存在。(P69)

此处找错了虚拟语气的条件。译者这种翻译,是把without... 作为虚拟语气的条件(如果没有……),剩下的be译作“存在”;但实际上,if... 才是本句的条件。

试译:假设当今有一个伯利克里式的人物,他也不会没有约翰·诺克斯身上的优点。

7.原文:s much compression as is necessary to prevent the stronger specimens of human nature from encroaching on the rights of others, cannot be dispensed with; but for this there is ample compensation even in the point of view of human development.

孟译:当然,为了防止天生更为强壮的个体侵犯他人的权利,必要数量的限制还不能免除,但是要以从人类发展的角度看来所得大于所失为限。(P69)

此处错误断开了compensation for的搭配。把倒装恢复到正常语序: there is ample compensation for this even in the point of view of human development.

试译:为了防止人类天性中较强大的个体侵占别人的权利所必要的恰到好处的压制是避免不了的;不过即使从人类发展的角度看,这种压制有这种压制的许多好处。

8.原文:The means of development which the individual loses by being prevented from gratifying his inclinations to the injury of others, are chiefly obtained at the expense of the development of other people.

孟译:如果因个人一己之好有损于他人而剥夺其发展手段,其损失主要以成就了他人的发展而得以补偿。(P69)

此处at the expense of...显然是“以……为代价”。译者联系上下文要找的“补偿”,实际在原文的下一句。

试译:一个人因为受到阻止,不能满足自己伤害他人的意愿而失去的个人发展的途径,却主要以牺牲别人的发展为代价才能获得。

9.原文:Would it be a reason why those who do the old things should forget why they are done, and do them like cattle, not like human beings?

孟译:那些惯于依旧例而行的人之所以会忘记如此行事的理由,且做起事来不像人类而是如同牛马,难道不值得一问究竟吗?(P71)

此处译者找错了it的含义。it 指上文的“如果没有新事物出现”。

试译:现在许多人做老套的事忘记了为什么要做,并且像牛马一样而不是人一样做事,这是否提供了一个理由?

10.原文:I am not countenancing the sort of "hero-worship" which applauds the strong man of genius for forcibly seizing on the government of the world and making it do his bidding in spite of itself. All he can claim is, freedom to point out the way.

孟译:我并不是在鼓吹那种“英雄崇拜”,欢迎由一个天才的强者强行攫取世界的统治权,让世人无论如何都要听命于他。他所能要求的,只是为人们指出道路的自由而已。(P73)

此处All he can claim is, freedom to point out the way. 一句颇难理解,孟译直接照搬了许译本,这里说说个人看法。这里关键在于the way指什么。看上一句,这里的the way应指“听命于他”的方法。实际上,把省略部分补全:

All (freedom) he can claim is, freedom to point out the way (of doing his bidding).

试译:我并不是在赞同那种“英雄崇拜”,赞同天才的强者用武力夺取世人的统治权,迫使世人不顾自身而唯命是听。他口中说的自由,不过是找出如何服从他的自由。

11.原文:Such are the differences among human beings in their sources of pleasure, their susceptibilities of pain, and the operation on them of different physical and moral agencies, ...

孟译:既然人类无论在快乐源泉还是痛苦感受上,以及在苦乐对不同肉身和道德主体的作用上,都有如此多的差异,……(P75)

此处on和of 翻译反了。

试译:人类愉悦的源泉、对痛苦的感受力以及不同物质力量、道德力量对人们作用的效果都大相径庭,……

12.原文:; and there is a philanthropic spirit abroad, for the exercise of which there is no more inviting field than the moral and prudential improvement of our fellow-creatures.

孟译:且还到处表现出一种仁爱精神,因为对于仁爱精神的实践来说,再没有比提升同胞的道德与智虑水平更具诱人田地的了。(P76)

此处对no more... than...的翻译不准确。这里no more... than...的用法是,no和more...than...实际上相分离、不相关。这样我们就知道for 应该接在inviting之后。把从句改写成正常语序:

there is no field more inviting for the exercise of which (=philanthropic spirit) than the moral and prudential improvement of our fellow-creatures.

试译:同时还广为流传着一种仁爱精神,没有什么领域比改善我们同胞的道德和审慎更吸引人们实施这种仁爱精神。

13.原文:Its ideal of character is to be without any marked character; to maim by compression, like a Chinese lady's foot, every part of human nature which stands out prominently, and tends to make the person markedly dissimilar in outline to commonplace humanity.

孟译:其理想的性格就是没有任何特出性的性格;就像中国女子的缠足一样,通过压制束缚来摧残人类天性中每一个格外出众的部分,务将外表轮廓明显不同的人们驯服成毫无个性的平庸之辈。(P77)

此处是对make sb/sth + adj 的误译。众所周知,make sth + adj 是“使某物怎么样”,那么make A dissimilar to B,应该译为“使得A与B不同”。

试译:这个标准理想的性格就是没有任何显著性格;它用强迫手段残伤了人类本性中所有明显突出的部分,就像中国女性的裹脚一样,并往往使此人在外形轮廓上与平常人类有明显的不同。

14.原文:As is usually the case with ideals which exclude one-half of what is desirable, the present standard of approbation produces only an inferior imitation of the other half.

孟译:由于理想之事的通常情形是,值得拥有的东西总有一半被排除在外,所以当前所认可的标准也就只能产生低劣的半截仿制品。(P77)

此处as is usually the case with... 是固定搭配,指“就像... 通常的情况那样”。再一次,as是定语从句的关联词,与“因为”没有一点关系。例如:

As is often the case with old people, my grandfather is fond of reading newspapers.

就像其他老人常常(喜欢看报纸)一样,我祖父也喜欢看报纸。

试译:就像许多把一半可取优点都排除在外的理想标准通常导致对剩下一半产生拙劣的模仿一样,当下认可的标准也是如此。

15.原文:In former days, when it was proposed to burn atheists, charitable people used to suggest putting them in a mad-house instead: it would be nothing surprising now-a-days were we to see this done, and the doers applauding themselves, because, instead of persecuting for religion, they had adopted so humane and Christian a mode of treating these unfortunates, not without a silent satisfaction at their having thereby obtained their deserts.

孟译:过去,在有人提议烧死无神论者的时候,有着慈悲心肠的人们常常建议不如将他们关入疯人院,因为这样一来他们对这些倒霉分子非但没有施行宗教迫害,而且还采取了合乎人道与基督教精神的处置方式,而他们也因此得到了想要的结果而未尝没有暗地里的满足;既然如此,如果我们今天还会看到这种做法,而且行为者还会因此自我夸赞,也就丝毫不足为怪。(P83)

这里有两个错误。第一,译者弄错了虚拟语气。可以看到,冒号前分句是过去真实发生的事,而冒号后的一长句都是对现在的虚拟语气。第二,deserts一词指“应得的惩罚;报应(what sb deserves, especially when it is sth bad)”,没有译出。

试译:在从前,如果有人提议烧死无神论者,慈悲人士常常建议不如把他们放进疯人院。假设我们今天看到这样的事情发生,行事者还要为自己鼓掌,因为他们不再迫害别人,而是采纳了如此人道、基督徒般仁爱的一种方式对付这些不幸者,并在不言之中对无神论者因此得到的报应不无满意,这也毫不为奇了。

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2021.4.11 更新第四、五章


第四章

1.原文:But neither one person, nor any number of persons, is warranted in saying to another human creature of ripe years, that he shall not do with his life for his own benefit what he chooses to do with it.

孟译:但是无论一个人还是一群人,都没有正当理由对另一个已届成年的人说,为了他自己的益处,他不可用其一生去做自己选定要终身从事的事情。(P86)

此处否定位置翻译不当。事实上,表示原因的部分常常有“否定转移”。

试译:但是任何人或任何数量的人都无权告诉另一个成年人,他不准用自己的生活、为了自己的利益做自己选择去做的事情。

2.原文:...; which may be altogether wrong, and even if right, are as likely as not to be misapplied to individual cases, by persons no better acquainted with the circumstances of such cases than those are who look at them merely from without.

孟译:……这种揣测可能完全错误,而且即便正确,却也多半会被那些仅从外部判断因而不明就里的人,将这种一般揣测误用于个别情境。(P87)

此处对likely 的翻译错误。如果把likely翻译成“有可能性”,那么A is as likely as (it is) B 便是“A和B一样可能”,在此句中不通。这里likely应指“似乎合适的;仿佛恰当的(seeming suitable for a purpose)”

试译:但这些臆断可能完全是错的,并且即便是对的,对于像仅仅旁观者一样不了解事例状况的人,这些臆断恰当的用法是不滥用到个人情况上。

3.原文:A person who shows rashness, obstinacy, self-conceit—who cannot live within moderate means—...

孟译:一个人如果性格轻率鲁莽、顽固倔强、刚愎自用,虽小康之家不足以自养,……(P88)

此处对live within moderate means 翻译错误。这几乎可以算一个固定短语,“量入为出”,和小康与否无关。

试译:一个表现得鲁莽、顽固、自大的人——不能量入为出的人——……

3.原文:...; but they are only a subject of moral reprobation when they involve a breach of duty to others, for whose sake the individual is bound to have care for himself.

孟译:……,然而只有当他违背「为了他人必须善待自己」的本分之时,才能成为道德谴责的对象。(P89)

此处的定语从句是非限定的,不能翻译成限定性从句。

试译:但是这些缺点只有当违背对他人的义务时,才能在道德上谴责——正是为了对他人的义务,一个人才必须管好自己。

4.原文:...; we shall not treat him like an enemy of society: the worst we shall think ourselves justified in doing is leaving him to himself, if we do not interfere benevolently by showing interest or concern for him.

孟译:;即便我们不打算通过为他指明利害关系而进行善意的干预,我们合乎情理的最极端做法也不过是任其自作自受。(P90)

此处interest, concern的翻译错误。译者受了前文的干扰,实际上这里就是普通的含义。

试译:我们不应该待他像社会的敌人。即便我们不插手,没有仁慈地表示关心,我们能想到最坏的做法也不过是置身事外。

5.原文:...: in the other case, it is not our part to inflict any suffering on him, ...

孟译:而在除此之外的其他情况下,……(P90)

此处 the other 翻译错误。众所周知,one... the other... 表示“两者”中的另一个。在本段开头,作者已经开门见山的指出了两者。

6.原文:If he deteriorates his bodily or mental faculties, ...

孟译:又如果他因放辟邪侈而斲丧身心,……(P91)

此处翻译中“因放辟邪侈”是无中生有。“放辟邪侈”,即肆意作恶,以及后面的“斲丧”,即(因沉溺酒色)伤害身体,都有小词大译之嫌。

试译:如果他损伤了自己身体感官或思维能力,……

7.原文:But there is no parity between the feeling of a person for his own opinion, and the feeling of another who is offended at his holding it; no more than between the desire of a thief to take a purse, and the desire of the right owner to keep it.

孟译:一个人觉得有必要坚持自己的意见,而另一个人却因他的这种坚持而觉得受到冒犯,这两种感情之间毫无共通之处,正如一个想偷取钱包的窃贼和想保住它的本来物主的愿望毫无共通之处一样。(P95)

此处parity翻译错误。它应指“(formal) (尤指薪金或地位)平等,相同,对等(the state of being equal, especially the state of having equal pay or status)”

试译:但是如果一个人的意见冒犯的别人,他对自己的意见的感受,和别人的感受相比并不等价,就好像小偷偷钱包的愿望和物主保住钱包的愿望并不等价一样。

8.原文:Their aversion to the flesh of the "unclean beast" is, on the contrary, of that peculiar character, resembling an instinctive antipathy, which the idea of uncleanness, when once it thoroughly sinks into the feelings, seems always to excite even in those whose personal habits are anything but scrupulously cleanly, and of which the sentiment of religious impurity, so intense in the Hindoos, is a remarkable example.

孟译:相反他们对那种“不洁动物”之肉的厌恶,却有着一种颇似出自本能的反感;而这一不洁观念一旦彻底深入人心,就在那些个人习惯称不上有多清洁的人中,也总是会激起他们的热情;那些毫无宗教清洁观念的印度教徒,也对此极端反感就是一个绝好的例子。(P97)

此处定语从句的修饰词错误。很明显,两个which都应指antipathy。

试译:他们抵触来自“不洁的野兽”身上的血肉,是独特的特性,类似于一种本能的反感;“不洁”这一观念一旦完全埋入宗教信仰,似乎会一直激起这种本能的反感,甚至对于个人习惯与干净整洁完全不相干的人也是如此。印度教众会对罪恶污秽的强烈情绪,也是这种本能反感的鲜明例子。

9.原文:No stronger case can be shown for prohibiting anything which is regarded as a personal immorality, than is made out for suppressing these practices in the eyes of those who regard them as impieties;...

孟译:没有什么比出于卫道的热情,更能让人们去禁止任何可被视作个人背德的事情,因为在他们心目中那些行为乃是亵渎神灵因而必须予以压制;……(P98)

此处对case的翻译错误。这里是case的另一常见意思,“(在审判、讨论等中支持一方的)论据,理由,辩词”

试译:人们为了禁止在其眼中不敬神的习俗所阐述的理由,也是禁止在人们眼中个人不道德行为的最有力的理由。

10. 原文:...,and it may become infamous in the eyes of the majority to possess more property than some very small amount, or any income not earned by manual labour.

孟译:……,那么身怀巨资或拥有超出手工劳动所能挣得的收入,在大多数人眼里就更会变得可耻可憎。(P99)

此处原来是small amount,和“巨资”对比,错误明显。

试译:在大众眼中,一个人拥有的财产只要超过某个相当少的数额,或者超过体力劳动的收入,便会声名狼藉。

11.原文:And they employ a moral police, which occasionally becomes a physical one, to deter skilful workmen from receiving, and employers from giving, a larger remuneration for a more useful service.

孟译:他们还使用道德惩罚,有时竟直接变为人身惩罚,来阻止熟练雇工与工厂雇主采取多劳多得的薪酬原则。(P100)

此处对a more useful service翻译不准确。一般说来,“多劳多得”应该是数量上对应。

试译:他们利用道德警察——有时候是真警察——阻止技艺高超的工人为更有用的服务挣得,也阻止雇主给出,更多的酬金。

12.原文:It can only go on from bad to worse, until destroyed and regenerated (like the Western Empire) by energetic barbarians.

孟译:若非由朝气蓬勃的野蛮人令之浴火重生(就像西罗马帝国那样),则等待它的不过是一衰到底罢了。(P106)

此处译者恐怕是将原文until误作unless。

试译:这种文明只能每况愈下,直到被血气方刚的野蛮人摧毁和重建(就像西罗马帝国那样)。

13.原文:.., they were admitted to toleration by the Hindoo sovereigns, on condition of not eating beef.

孟译:……,当时的印度君主宽宏地接纳了他们,条件是不许吃牛肉。(P107)

此处toleration的翻译错误。这里toleration指“宗教宽容(the allowance by a government (or other ruling power) of the exercise of religion beyond the state established faith)”

试译:……,印度君主准许容忍他们的存在,条件是不能吃牛肉。


第五章

1.原文:When there was no medical prescription, the presence of some third person might be required, to bring home the fact to the purchaser, in case there should afterwards be reason to believe that the article had been applied to criminal purposes.

孟译:在没有医师处方的时候,还可以要求某个第三者在场,见证买者的购买事实,以备日后所购药物确被用作了犯罪目的时作为认定的依据。(P113)

此处reason翻译错误。reason 指“有充分/合理的理由”,“作为依据”属误译。

试译:当没有医生处方时,可能需要第三方在场,给买方以事实真相,万一之后人们充分确认此物品被用在了犯罪目的上。

2.原文:The case of a person who solicits another to do an act, is not strictly a case of self-regarding conduct.

孟译:表面看来,一个人劝别人去做某事,严格说来已不是一项涉己行为。(P114)

此处not strictly翻译错误。这里的用法类似于部分否定。

试译:一个人鼓动他人做某种行为这一情况,不完全属于自涉行为。

3.原文:The interest, however, of these dealers in promoting intemperance is a real evil, and justifies the State in imposing restrictions and requiring guarantees which, but for that justification, would be infringements of legitimate liberty.

孟译:不过,酒商热心鼓励人们纵酒,确是一种祸害,因此国家有理由为此加以管制并要求保证,但除了这个唯一正当的理由,任何管制和要求保证都是对合法自由的侵犯。(P116)

此处but for翻译错误。but for是虚拟语气的标志,“如果没有”,作用等于without.

试译:然而,这些经销商推动酗酒获得利益确实是一种危害,也证明政府强行管制和要求许可证的必要性——倘若没有这种正当理由,这些措施将是对合法自由的侵犯。

4.原文:It is only because the institutions of this country are a mass of inconsistencies, that things find admittance into our practice which belong to the system of despotic, or what is called paternal, government, ...

孟译:仅从英国制度含有大量抵牾矛盾之处就可以发现,它的惯例中混入了许多本属专制政体或曰父权政体的东西,……(P118)

此处对find翻译错误。注意到find的主语是无生命的,自然不能译作“发现”,而应取“ 自然到达;达到(to arrive at sth naturally; to reach sth)”。

试译:恰恰不过是因为我国的规章制度充满了反复无常、前后不一,归属于专制政体,或者所谓“父权”政体的东西才会自行获准进入我们的生活实践;……

5.原文:...: and even without such voluntary release, there are perhaps no contracts or engagements, except those that relate to money or money's worth, of which one can venture to say that there ought to be no liberty whatever of retractation.

孟译:甚至如无自愿解约的自由,就无所谓合同或契约,当然那些有关金钱和财产的契约除外,此类契约人人敢说不应当有任何反悔的自由。(119)

此处对于插入语的翻译错误。插入语本身不改变句子的结构,因此,原文只不过是在engagements in...中间加入插入语而已。

试译:即便不能自愿解除,可能也没有任何合同或协定,有人敢说不应该有任何一种收回的自由,除了关于钱或值钱物的协定。

6.原文:...; and that the most important of these engagements, marriage, having the peculiarity that its objects are frustrated unless the feelings of both the parties are in harmony with it, should require nothing more than the declared will of either party to dissolve it.

孟译:……;如这类契约中最重要的婚姻关系,因其独特性在于一旦双方感情丧失和谐,目标即告落空,所以唯有尊重任何一方宣布解散的意愿。(P119)

此处对nothing more than翻译错误。nothing more than,类似于no more than,在这里应指“只,只有”(=only)。例如:

He has no more than 10 dollars.(他只有10块钱。)

试译:而这种协定中最重要的一种,即婚姻,除非双方的感情都与之和睦,否则婚姻便达不到其目的;由于有这种独特性质,婚姻应该仅仅需要单方面宣布意愿就可解除。

7.原文:..., he would doubtless have recognised that the question cannot be decided on grounds so simple as those to which he confines himself.

孟译:……,他无疑会认识到这个问题不能以如此这般受限的简单依据做出断定。(P120)

此处译者漏译了半句话。

试译:他几乎肯定会意识到,这个问题不可能根据像他所限定的那样简单的理由就能够判断。

8.原文:...; but it may very properly offer to ascertain and certify that a person possesses the knowledge, requisite to make his conclusions, on any given subject, worth attending to.

孟译:……;不过为了弄清并证明一个人在某个值得探究的特定主题上具备自己得出结论所必需的知识,提供相关测试却是完全正当的。(P124)

此处对插入语的翻译错误。再一次,原文只不过是在make his conclusions worth attending to 中间插入了on any given subject,不能断开翻译。

试译:但是政府可以正当的主动确定和提供证明书,证实一个人拥有了必需的知识,使得他在任何特定问题上做出的结论都有认真倾听的价值。

9.原文: When we compare the strange respect of mankind for liberty, with their strange want of respect for it, we might imagine that a man had an indispensable right to do harm to others, and no right at all to please himself without giving pain to any one.

孟译:人类如此奇怪地尊重自由,却又如此奇怪地轻慢自由,两相对比之下,我们不禁想象,一个人竟可以有必不可少的伤害他人的权利,却根本没有只求自己快乐而不给别人带来痛苦的权利。(P125)

此处有两个错误。第一,根据上文的理解,这里的imagine不只是“想象”,而应是“误以为;胡乱猜想;猜测(to believe sth that is not true)”。第二,这里的no/not + without是双重否定形式,“不……,就不……”。例如:

No gains without pains.(不付出辛苦,便没有收获/凡收获必有辛苦。)

试译:人类既这样奇怪的尊重自由,又这样奇怪的蔑视自由;当我们两相比较,我们可能误以为一个人有不可或缺的、伤害他人的权利,甚至若不让别人痛苦,便无权让自己高兴。

10.原文:This principle condemns the interferences, once so common, of the legislature, or the officers of government, with the ordinary processes of industry.

孟译:依照这条原理,就能断定「立法机关或政府官员曾经普遍热衷干涉一般工业生产」这种做法的失误。(P126)

此处对于插入语的翻译错误。句子中插入语的作用是做补充说明,而不是做句子主干。

试译:这一原则反对立法机关或政府官员插手正常的商业过程——这种干预一度相当常见。

11.原文: This is a principal, though not the sole, recommendation of jury trial (in cases not political); of free and popular local and municipal institutions; of the conduct of industrial and philanthropic enterprises by voluntary associations.

孟译:我们之所以采用陪审团制度(在非政治案件上),采用自由民主的地方自治和城市自治制度,以及由自愿联合的社团管理工商事业和慈善事业,其虽非唯一但却首要的一个理由即在于此。(P126)

此处对recommendation翻译不准确。这里对其动词,recommend,应取“使显得吸引人;使受欢迎(to make sb/sth seem attractive or good)”。

试译:这正是陪审团判决(在非政治案件上)、自由的地方平民机构和市政平民机构,以及由自愿者协会经营工业企业和慈善企业等做法,主要的(虽然不唯一)可取之处。

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