Solitude||享受孤獨

Theo Lee
2008-01-16 看过
Solitude,是其中的名篇,也是自己非常喜歡的一篇,現摘錄如下,譯文參考自新東方的《Born To Win》一書。

I FIND IT WHOLESOME TO BE ALONE THE GREATER PART OF THE TIME. TO BE IN COMPANY, EVEN WITH THE BEST, IS SOON WEARISOME AND DISSIPATING. I LOVE TO BE ALONE. I NEVER FOUND THE COMPANION THAT WAS SO COMPANIONABLE AS SOLITUDE. WE ARE FOR THE MOST PART MORE LONELY WHEN WE GO ABROAD AMONG MEN THAT WHEN WE STAY IN OUR CHAMBERS. A MAN THINKING OR WORKING IS ALWAYS ALONE, LET HIM BE WHERE HE WILL. SOLITUDE IS NOT MEASURED BY THE MILES OF SPACE THAT INTERVENE BETWEEN A MAN AND HIS FELLOWS. THE REALLY DILIGENT STUDENT IN ONE OF THE CROWDED HIVES OF CAMBRIDGE COLLEGE IS AS SOLITARY AS A DERVISH IN THE DESERT. THE FARMER CAN WORK ALONE IN THE FIELD OR IN THE WOODS ALL DAY, HOEING OR CHOPPING, AND NOT FEEL LONESOME, BECAUSE HE IS EMPLOYED; BUT WHEN HE COMES HOME AT NIGHT HE CANNOT SIT DOWN IN A ROOM ALONE, AT THE MERCY OF HIS THOUGHTS, BUT MUST BE WHERE HE CAN "SEE THE FOLKS," AND RECREATE, AND, AS HE THINKS, REMUNERATE HIMSELF FOR HIS DAY'S SOLITUDE; AND HENCE HE WONDERS HOW THE STUDENT CAN SIT ALONE IN THE HOURS AL NIGHT AND MOST OF THE DAY WITHOUT ENNUI AND THE "BLUES"; BUT HE DOSE NOT REALIZE THAT THE STUDENT, THOUGH IN THE HOUSE, IS STILL AT WORK IN HIS FIELD, AND CHOPPING IN THE WOODS, AS THE FARMER IN HIS AND IN TURN SEEKS THE SAME RECREATATION AND SOCIETY THATTHE LATTER DOES, THOUGH IT MAY BE A MORE CONDENSED FORM OF IT.

我發現人若大部分時間用於獨處,將有益身心。與人為伴,即使是摯友,也很快會有厭煩或虛度光陰的感覺。我愛獨處,我發現沒有比獨處更好的伴侶了。出國,身在熙攘人群中,要比退守陋室更讓人寂寞。心有所想,身有所系的人總是孤身一人,不論他身在何處,獨處與否也不是由人與人之間的距離來確定。在劍橋苦讀的學子雖身處風潮般擁擠的教室,實際上卻和沙漠中的苦行僧一樣,是在獨處。農人終日耕于田間,伐于山野,此時他雖孤單但幷不寂寞,因他專心于工作;但待到他日暮而息,卻未必能忍受形影相吊、空有思緒作伴的時光,他必到“可以看見大夥兒”的去處找樂子,如他所認為的那樣以補償白日裡的孤獨;因此他無法理解學子如何能竟夜終日獨坐而不心生厭倦或倍感凄涼;然而他沒意識到,學子雖身在學堂,但心系勞作,他是耕於心田,伐于學林,這正和農人一樣,學子在尋求的無非是和他一樣的快樂于陪伴,只是形式更簡潔罷了。

SOCIETY IS COMMONLY TOO CHEAP. WE MEET AT VERY SHORT INTERVALS, NOT HAVING HAD TIME TO ACQUIRE ANY NEW VALUE FOR EACH OTHER. WE MEET AT MEALS THREE TIMES A DAY, AND GIVE EACH OTHER A NEW TASTE OF THAT OLD MUSTY CHEESE THAT WE ARE. WE HAVE HAD TO AGREE ON A CERTAIN SET OF RULES, CALLED ETIQUETTE AND POLITENESS, NEED NOT COME TO OPEN WAR. WE MEET AT THE POST-OFFICE, AND AT THE SOCIABLE, AND ABOUT THE FIRESIDE EVERY NIGHT; WE LIVE THICK AND ARE IN EACH OTHER'S WAY, AND STUMBLE OVER ONE ANOTHER, AND I THINK THAT WE THUS LOSE SOME RESPECT FOR ONE ANOTHER. CERTAINLY LESS FREQUENCY WOULD SUFFICE FOR ALL IMPORTANT AND HEARTY COMMUNICATIONS. CONSIDER THE GIRLS IN A FACTORY——NEVER ALONE, HARDLY IN THEIR DREAMS. IT WOULD BE BETTER IF THERE WERE BUT ONE INHABITANT TO A SQUARE MILE, AS WHERE I LIVE. THE VALUE OF A MAN IS NOT IN HIS SKIN, THAT WE SHOULD TOUCH HIM.

與人交往通常因為唾手可得而毫無價值,在頻繁的相處中,我們無暇從彼此獲得新價值;我們每日三餐相聚,反復讓彼此重新審視的也是依舊故我,幷無新奇之處。為此我們要循規蹈矩,稱其為懂禮儀、講禮貌,以便在這些頻繁的接觸中相安無事,無需論戰而有辱斯文。我們相遇在郵局,邂逅在社交場所,圍坐在夜晚的爐火旁,交情甚篤,彼此干擾著,糾纏著;實際上我認為這樣我們都或多或少失去了對彼此的尊重。對於所有重要的傾心交流,相見不必過頻。想想工廠裡的女孩,她們雖從不落單,但至少也有夢想。像我這樣方圓一英里僅一人居住,那情況會更好。人的價值非在肌膚相親,而在心有靈犀。

I HAVA A GREAT DEAL OF COMPANY IN MY HOUSE; ESPECIALLY IN THE MORNING, WHEN NOBODY CALLS. LET ME SUGGEST A FEW COMPARISONS, THAT SOME ONE MAY CONVEY AN IDEA OF MY SITUATION. I AM NO MORE LONELY THAN THE LOON IN THE POND THAT LAUGHS SO LOUD, OR THAN WALDEN POND ITSELF. WHAT COMPANY HAS THAT LONELY LAKE, I PRAY? AND YET IT HAS NOT THE BLUE DEVILS, BUT THE BLUE ANGELS IN IT, IN THE AZURE TINT OF ITS WATERS. THE SUN IS ALONE, EXCEPT IN THICK WEATHER, WHEN THERE SOMETIMES APPEAR TO BE TWO, BUT ONE IS A MOCK SUN. GOD IS ALONE——BUT THE DEVIL, HE IS FAR FROM BEING ALONE; HE SEES A GREAT DEAL OF COMPANY; HE IS LEGION. I AM NO MORE LONELY THAN A SINGLE MULLEIN OR DANDELION IN A PASTURE, OR A BEEN LEAF, OR SORREL, OR A HORSE-FLY, OR A BUMBLEBEE. I AM NO MORE LONELY THAN THE MILL BROOK, OR A WEATHERCOCK, OR THE NORTH STAR, OR THE SOUTH WIND, OR AN APRIL SHOWER, OR A JANUARY THAW, OR THE FIRST SPIDER IN A NEW HOUSE.

我的房子裡有很多夥伴,尤其在無人造訪的清晨。我把自己和週圍事物對比一下,你或許能窺見我生活的一斑。比起那湖中長笑的潛鳥,還有那湖,我幷不比它們孤獨多少。你看:這孤單的湖又何以為伴呢?然而它那一灣天藍的湖水裡有的卻是天使的純凈,而非魔鬼的憂鬱。太陽是孤獨的,雖然時而在陰鬱的天氣裡會出現兩個太陽,但其中一個為幻日;上帝是孤獨的——魔鬼從不孤單,它永遠不乏夥伴,因從他者甚眾。比起牧場上的一朶毛蕊花,一支蒲公英,一片豆葉,一束醡漿草,一支牛虻或大黃蜂來,我幷不孤單多少;比起密爾溪、風標、北極星、南風、四月春雨、正月融雪、或者新房中的第一隻蜘蛛,我也幷不更加孤單。

這是一篇優美,恬靜,舒暢,充滿智慧的美文,出自美國著名作家、哲學家H.D梭羅(Henry David Thoreau)的名作《Walden》(瓦爾登湖)。

我在想,一個人要經過多少的生活歷練、沈浮,才能到達如此豁達淡定的境界,對於生活,對於存在,對於生命等等一切一切。我承認,自己是一個害怕寂寞,但又渴望獨處,誓死捍衛自我空間和隱私的一個人,熱愛著生活,享受著音樂、書籍給自己帶來的寧靜與感動。但是從小養成,或者說性格使然的習慣讓自己懶惰,缺乏耐性,懦弱,時常感到迷惘,若有所失,渴望獨立,但又害怕失敗。多次嘗試之後,疲憊不堪,自責,反省,放棄。再次醒悟,說服自己樂觀起來,繼續出發……

或許,自己真的需要學會享受孤獨,靜靜聆聽來自自己內心最深處的聲音,聽聽自己真正想要的是什麽,一直以來尋尋覓覓的又是什麽。

此刻,窗外寒風呼嘯,一片寂靜,坐在電腦前的自己手腳冰冷,邊上放著一堆要看的書,音樂從音箱裡流出,在這孤單的夜陪伴著自己,但自己幷不寂寞。

原文間Blog:http://xiwinglee.blogbus.com/logs/13944501.html
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