一部芝加哥南区普通黑人女孩的成长史

铁铁
2019-04-01 看过

Becoming是一本非常好读的书。在这本书中,我看到了一个普通的女孩的成长史,看到她和自己的阶级和命运的抗争。这本书在2018念11月中出版,发布1周卖出1.4万本,15天后一举夺得美国2018年最畅销书。

Michelle 从小生活在芝加哥南区(South Side),不是很富足的生活,但是父母给了她很好的教育。身为一个黑人女孩子,她的成长中曾有被种族歧视,也有对自己的怀疑。但更多的,她展现的是解决问题,不断超越自己的态度和能力。她和Barack的爱情故事也很sweet。

1. 家庭教育

<Hillbilly Elegy> 充分展现了美国底层白人懒散的生活,没有责任感,不注重对孩子的教育。Michelle 也在这本书中提到,没有坏孩子,那些“无理”的小孩子们,是从小没有被重视,没有得到大人足够的关怀和教育,他们只是只是在用自己的方式和这个世界抗争。

相反,虽然Michelle的父母很贫穷,他们一家四口租亲戚的房子楼上一层住,但她从小就感受到的是 “the consistent love and high expectations with which I was surrounded as a child, both at home and at school”。

她的父母,老师给她传达了非常简单明确的信息,“You belong. You matter. I think highly of you.”

Michelle是个很会升华的人,她非常会赋予一个物品一件事很大意义的。比如她提到父亲的车 -

The car provided another form of closeness for my family, a chance to talk and travel at once. what driving the car meant to my father. As a kid, I could only sense it—the liberation he felt behind the wheel, the pleasure he took in having a smooth-running engine and perfectly balanced tires humming beneath him.

2. 种族问题

Michelle从小在芝加哥很多的亲戚朋友,是在“Great Migration” 过程中从美国南部迁徙过来的。她说她从小认识的人,“elite meant not for us“。African Americans 受到社会的歧视,他们即使很努力的工作,也会被自己的出身,限制了“income, opportunity and eventually their aspirations”。

她的父母和她说,“It was unjust but also unfortunately common. The color of our skin made us vulnerable. It was a thing we’d always have to navigate.”

Michelle刚上大学的第一年,她的白人室友就没有任何原因的离开了她和另一个黑人女女生的宿舍。

3. 自我认知: Am I good enough?

在这本自传中,Michelle从小到大经常会问自己的问题是 “Am I good enough?”。你会看到她在成长中,从不自信到渐渐的学会肯定自己。这个问题的答案从“No” 到“Yes, in fact I am’。

跟随着Michelle的励志故事,也给读者喂足了满满的鸡汤。比如,申请大学时,当高中老师怀疑自己去不了Princeton, 她说 “My only thought, in the moment, was I’ll show you. And in the end, I hadn’t needed to show her anything. I was only showing myself.”

更多鸡汤:

If you don’t get out there and define yourself, you’ll be quickly and inaccurately defined by others.
I’m not sure that I ever believed that life was fair, but I had always thought that you could work your way out of just about any problem.

4. 遇见爱情

初见Barack, 虽然她是他的mentor, 但Michelle 的内心就像很多刚毕业的女生,对未知的人生有些不确定,但她看到了自信与坚定的他:

What struck me was how assured he seemed of his own direction in life. He was oddly free from doubt, though at first glance it was hard to understand why.
I found myself admiring Barack for both his self-assuredness and his earnest demeanor.

她看到了理想主义的他:

His money went largely toward books, which to him were like sacred objects, providing ballast for his mind.

相恋之后,Barack结束实习,回到学校继续读书,他们经历了几年的异地恋。

后来Barack从政,非常忙碌,他们的感情出现了一些危机。他们及时去找了marriage consultation, 然后Michelle尝试改变自己:

Several days a week so that I could run out to Cornell’s and join a girlfriend for a 5:00 a.m. workout and then be home by 6:30 to get the girls up and ready for their days. This new regimen changed everything: Calmness and strength, two things I feared I was losing, were now back.


这是一本非常有力量的展示women’s power的书,书的前半部分讲一个黑人小女孩的成长,后半部分侧重她做第一夫人后的所作所为,所见所感。前面比后面更有趣也更relatable。总之,这是一部很值得读一读的自传书。

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