Love in a small party->shared identity->love communionThe communion of inner selves grounded in mutually encouraged self-disclosures may be the nucleus of the love relationship
Is the unity of people possible?The first consequence of rising disbelief in the likelihood of unity is the division of the map of the Lebenswelt, the lifeworld, into two continent largely incommunicado with each other. One is where consensus is sought at all cost (though mostly, perhaps all the time, with the skills acquired and learned in the shelter of intimacy) - but above all is presumed to be already 'there', predetermined by shared identity, waiting to be awakened and to reassert itself. And the other is where hope of spiritual unity, and so also any effort to uncover it or to build it from scratch, has been a priori abandoned so that the only exchange adumbrated is that of missles, not words.
This duality of postures seems to be gradually receding into the background of daily lifeThe 'communities of sameness', predetermined but waiting to be revealed and filled with substance, are giving way to 'communities of occasion', expected to self-compose around events, idols, panics or fashions: most diverse as focal points, yet sharing the trait of short, and shortening, life expectation.
Dialectics of the drive for freedom and the craving for belonging in network chattingBoth urges melt and mix in the all-absorbing and all-consuming labour of 'networking' and 'surfing the network'. The ideal of 'connectedness' struggles to grasp the difficult, vexing dialectics of the two irreconcilables. It promises a safe (or non-fatal at least) navigation between the reefs of loneliness and commitment, the scourge of exclusion and the iron grip of bonds too tight, an irreparable detachment and irrevocable attachment.We chat and we have 'buddies' to chat with. Buddies, as every chat addict knows, come and go, switch in and out - but there are always a few of them on the line itching to drown silence in 'messages'. In the 'buddy-buddy' sort of relationship, not messages as such, but the coming and going of messages, the circulation of messages, are the message - don't mind the content. We belong - to the even flow of words and unfinished sentences (abbreviated, to be sure, truncated to speed up the circulation). We belong to talking, not to what is talked about.The purpose of making sounds and tapping messages is no longer to submit the innards of the soul to the partner's inspection and approval. The words voiced or typed no longer struggle to report the voyage of spiritual discovery....the point - its sole point - is to keep the chat going...The unions have nothing to lean on but our chatting and texting; the union only goes so far as the dialling, talking , messaging. Stop talking - and you are out. Silence equlas exclusion.