Liquid Love 8.4分
读书笔记 第10页
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One-night stand :

emotional halfway house between the freedom of dating and the seriousness of a major relationship

One-night stand is driven by wishes rather than desire just like shopping.

Why not desire? It took too much time.

It takes time (an unbearably lengthy time by the standards of a culture that abhors procrastination and promotes 'instant satisfaction' instead) to sow, cultivate and feed desire. Desire needs time to germinate, grow and mellow.

How did wishes work in a consumer market?

All the motives needed to make shoppers shop must be born on the spot, while strolling the mall. They may also die on the spot (by an assited suicide, in most cases) once their job has been done. Their life expectation need not stretch longer than it takes the shoppers to wander from the entry of the shopping mall to the exit.

These days, shopping malls tend to be designed with the fast arousal and quick extinction of wishes in mind, not the cumbersome and protracted breeding and grooming of desires. The sole desire that should (and would) be implanted by a visit to a shopping mall is that of repeating, over and over again, the exhilarating moment of ‘letting oneself go’ and allowing the wishes to run the show without a prescripted scenario. The brevity of their life expectation is the wishes’ major asset, giving them an edge over desires. Surrendering to wishes, unlike following a desire, is known to be but momentary, bearing the hope that it will leave no lasting consequences that could bar further moments of joyful ecstasy.

Relationship between desire and wishes.

In its radicalized, tapered and above all more compact reincarnation as a wish, desire has lost most of such off-putting attributes, while focusing more closely on its target.

Seeing relationships as business transactions are not a cure for loneliness and anxiety because commitments are meaningless in the long term and the fact that you need to constantly weigh whether or not to hold this relationship greatly adds to your insecurity.

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