Of Human Bondage 9.0分
读书笔记 123
balil

在阅读的过程中,我一直在思考标题的意思,这个“bondage”到底是什么?P在上学的时候,我以为bondage是他的club foot,他对此一直感到自卑,即使校长鼓励他说,你可以把这视为自己的独特,是上帝给你的礼物呢?他虽然有所释然,但还是无法真正的接受自己的残缺,导致他后来在看待女人上,过度注重外表。

后来,P去德国呆了一阵子,在那里开始对自己的宗教信仰产生怀疑,P在England,又出生在牧师之家,从小就对Christianity深信不疑,认为绅士的标准之一就是要对信仰虔诚,并且之前还认为自己痛苦就能获得上帝的注意。来到德国,发现很多绅士的人不仅没有宗教信仰,还质疑宗教,他心目中宗教的权威受到了冲击,在阅读了大量的书籍之后,他也开始反思,宗教的意义,最后他决定脱离宗教,做一个“自由”的人。

-"there's no such thing as abstract morality"
-"but he knew that this was an illusion. when he put away the religion in which he had been brought up, he had kept unimpaired the morality which was part and parcel of it.

可是来到巴黎,与友人交流之后,才发现,只是他以为他已经获得了精神上的自由,而事实上,他从小的宗教信仰教育,已经刻进了他的骨子里,一些他所认为正确的三观,以为是自己的三观,其实是Christianity带给他的。所以,他其实还是没有逃脱“bondage”。

-“this illusion which man has that his will is free is so deeply rooted that i am ready to accpet it. I act as though I were a free agent. But when an action is performed it is clear that all the forces of the universe from all eternity conspired to caise it, and nothing I could do could have prevented it. It was inevitable. If it was good I can claim no merit; if it was bad I can accpet no censure.”

这个不是宿命论,而是说你之所以会做出这样的决定,之所以成为这样的人,都是周围的人和环境对你的作用下造成的,是不可避免的。

我之所以成为我,因为我的基因,也因为我生长的环境。

-“life is there to be lived rather than to be written about.”
-"you know, there are two good things in life, freedom of thought and freedom of actions."
-"you will find as you grow older that first thing needful to make the world a tolerable place to live in is to recognise the inevitable selfish of humanity. you demand unselfishness from others, which is a preposterous claim that they should sacrifice their desires to yours. why should they? when you are reconciled the fact that each is for himself in the world you will ask less from your fellows. They will not disappoint you, and you will look upon them more charitable. Men seek but one thing in life--their pleasure".
-“it is pleasure that lurks in the practice of every one of your virtues. Man performs actions because they are good for him, and when they are good for other people as well they are thought virtous.”

正如王阳明所说,人欲即天理。就像我对待朋友和家人,从来不觉得他们对我的好是理所应当的,他们对我indifference是可以理解的,对我好,我就应该感恩了,人家并没有义务,没有所谓的morality去帮助你。所以,即使对很好的朋友,我遇到麻烦,也是尽量自己解决,如果不得不寻求帮助,也想着什么时候能够帮助他们,对于朋友请我帮忙,我会力所能及地去帮助。“严于律己,宽以待人”这句话,应该是语文老师教给我的。对他人要求不高,也就不会有太多的失望,内心也能保持平静。而且慢慢习惯之后,我的心情很少因为他人而改变。

在与好朋友的交往过程中,我觉得我有些过于谨慎小心了。我每次说话的时候,都会思考这句话是否会伤害别人,或者如果别人对我说这句话,我是否会受到伤害,如果会受伤,那我就不会如实说出来。比如说,我如果买了很喜欢的一件衣服,满怀期待地穿着问朋友,好看不好看,她们往往会很诚实的,觉得不好看,就说很丑或者显老,虽然说,我的确是在问他们的意见,但是这样的话还是让我很失落。所以同样的情况,如果是朋友问我的意见,即使我觉得不好看,也会说还可以啦,或者虽然面料一般,但是颜色很好看啊。虽然是违心的话,但是不会伤害朋友的感情。

还记得小时候,妈妈坐在我旁边唱歌,看起来心情很不错,但是我觉得不好听,就说:你可不可以别唱了,一点也不好听。我妈当时很严肃地说:在当别人心情很好地时候,比如唱歌地时候,无论好不好听,你也不能打击人家,这会伤害到别人。 当时我很震惊,我没想到,我随口说的一句话会伤害到别人。从那以后,那些尖酸刻薄,不好听的话,我就不说了,而且也许当时本来想说一些气话的,但是当时忍住没有说,过一会儿就烟消云散了。

虽然这样做不会伤害朋友的感情,但是说违心的话,在我心里还是留有愧疚。之前有一段时间,我信奉“忠言逆耳利于行”,“对于好朋友,最重要的是真诚”,所以对朋友,我都是如实相诉,可是最后连朋友都没得做。再后来,我把这一类违心的话归于“白色的谎言”,让心里舒坦点。

-"a great painter forces the world to see nature as he sees it; but in the next generation another painter sees the world in another way, and then the public judges him not by himself but by his predecessor"
-"I have nothing but contempt for the people who despise money. they are hypocrites or fools. money is like a sixth sense without which you cannot make a complete use of the other five. whithout an adequate income half the possibilities of life are shut off.

之前看一个讲座,说是现在的年轻人,都逐渐以“金钱和权力”来衡量成功,月薪一万块的站在月薪三千的面前,就有底气,部长站在处长面前,心里十分自得。的确,现在是一个普遍现象。我追求什么呢?我并不唾弃金钱,我觉得有稳定的经济来源可以让我做很多自己想做的事,会让我更自由,会带给我pleasure。P其实也算是一个比较现实的人,发现自己虽然有天赋,但是经过两年的努力,发现自己最多只能成为二流,但他内心不满足于二流,P不是想要金钱和权利,他想要的是成功,而他并不像其他painter,他没有执念,此路不通,再开一道。我也一样,我想be outstanding in my field,前提是在这个field里要有成功的希望,并且要喜欢这个东西。P最开始做accountant,既不喜欢也没有天赋,所以是注定不可能长久的。

有时候,很羡慕P,去德国、巴黎、伦敦,体验了不一样的生活,遇见了不同的人。我也很羡慕,那个时候有那么多思想独立的人,和这样的人交流,才会有思想的火花碰撞。而在我的阅历还太少,有趣的人也有,但是,没有缘分。

-"it seemed to phlip that there were three things to find out:man's relation to the world he lives in,man's relation with the men among whom he lives, and finally man's relation to himself."

这是一辈子都要琢磨的事情。这很复杂,还是顺其自然吧。

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