The Looking Glass War 评价人数不足
读书笔记 What were you thinking of when you wrote about love
赤道流浪汉

There were times when Avery felt for Leclerc a deep, protective love. Leclerc had that indefinable quality of arousing guilt, as if his companion but poorly replaced a departed friend. Somebody had been there, and gone; perhaps a whole world, a generation; somebody had made him and disowned him, so that while at one moment Avery could hate him for his transparent manipulation, detest his prinking gestures as a child detests the affectations of a parent, at the next he ran to protect him, responsible and deeply caring. Beyond all the vicissitudes of their relationship, he was somehow grateful that Leclerc had engendered him; and thus they created that strong love which exists between the weak; each became the stage to which the other related his actions.
‘You know, it doesn’t seem real. In the war, there was no question. They went or they refused. Why did he go, Avery? Jane Austen said money or love, those were the only two things in the world. Leiser didn’t go for money.’
‘When we met him he was a man without love. Do you know what love is? I’ll tell you: it is whatever you can still betray. We ourselves live without it in our profession. We don’t force people to do things for us. We let them discover love. And, of course, Leiser did, didn’t he? He married us for money, so to speak, and left us for love. He took his second vow. I wonder when.’
Avery said quickly, ‘What do you mean, for money?’
‘I mean whatever we gave to him. Love is what he gave to us. I see you have his watch, incidentally.’
‘Love. Yes, love! Not yours, Haldane, mine. Smiley’s right! You made me do it for you, made me love him! It wasn’t in you any more! I brought him to you, I kept him in your house, made him dance to the music of your bloody war! I piped for him, but there’s no breath in me now. He’s Peter Pan’s last victim, Haldane, the last one, the last love; the last music gone.’
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