Star Wars: The Force Awakens 评价人数不足
读书笔记 Rey’s Flashback
All the discussion and debate was making Rey weary. Coupled with Finn’s confession and his walking out on the rest of them, it made her wonder, not for the first time, what she was doing here. She felt lost and alone.
No different, she told herself, than she had felt on Jakku.
Alone…alone…It echoed in her mind as she sat there. Under the weight of her loneliness Han’s voice seemed to fade, and Maz Kanata’s as well, until there was nothing surrounding her but a silence as deep and profound as the distant reaches of space itself.
Then something came, stealthy and unidentifiable, to fill it.
A feeling, unrecognized yet somehow familiar. Drawn to it, she rose. Locked in conversation, Han and Maz ignored her as she made her way away from the table and toward a distant corridor-but BB-8 followed.
There was a stairway there: ancient stonework leading downward. Perceiving her unease, BB-8 asked what was wrong.
“I don’t know. I-I have to see.” She started down the stairway. Struggling, the droid followed.
The stairway terminated in a deserted, dimly subterranean corridor. Why was she here, she asked herself. When herself declined to answer, she continued onward. Though the passageway was not long, it appeared so to her. At the very end was a single door. It almost seemed to vibrate. BB-8 chirped nervously, but she ignored the droid, drawn forward. There was a seal, a lock, on the door. She reached out, only to draw back her hand when it opened before she could make contact.
It was darker still in the room beyond. Among the stone arches and alcoves she could see crates piled haphazardly and shelves filled with packages heavy with age and dust. A bust of some unknown bearded human sat on the floor next to an antique shield fashioned of an unknown silvery metal. Tarps and cloth covered much of the collection. There seemed no rhyme or reason to the place, no organization of any kind. Objects of obvious value sat side by side with simple woven baskets and bundles of unknown plants.
Though curious as to their functions and origins, she ignored them all, moving deeper into the room toward a table on which rested a single wooden box. There was nothing especially impressive about the container, nothing overtly valuable or significant. Yet of all the items in the chamber she was drawn only to it. Behind her, not a peep of a beep came from an anxious BB-8.
The box was not locked. She opened it.
A heavy, slow, mechanical breathing filled the room. Turning, she found herself looking down an impressive hallway, its architecture reminiscent of the Old Empire. Peering harder, farther, she saw in the distance a section of the famed Cloud City. Two figures were locked in combat, distant, distant. Someone, somewhere, somewhen, spoke her name.
“Hello?” Wreathed in the irrationality of the moment, she called hopefully, but received no answer.
A boy appeared at the end of the hallway. She started toward him, and the world turned inside out, causing her to trip and fall.
Onto the wall, which had become the ground. Not the adamantine ceramic she had just seen, but dry grass. Nearby, a lightsaber slammed into the ground. A missed thrust, a statement of power-she didn’t know, couldn’t tell. A hand appeared to pull it upward.
Day became night, sky ominous and filled with rain, cold and chilling to the bone. She was standing, she was sitting, she was looking up-to see someone, a warrior, take the full force of the lightsaber. He screamed and fell.
Battlefield then, all around her. Putting a hand to her mouth, she rose and turned. As she turned, she found herself confronted by seven tall, cloaked figures, dark and foreboding, all armed. Soaked and shivering, she stumbled backward, turning as she half fell. Firelight illuminated her, firelight from a distant, burning temple.
The seven vanished. A sound made her turn, and she blinked in surprise at the sight of a small blue-and-silver R2 unit. A new figure appeared. Falling to his knees, he reached out to the droid with an artifice of an arm-metal and plastics and other materials with which she was not familiar. She blinked and both were gone.
Around her now: barren, snowy woods, the sounds of unknown forest creatures, and a conviction that she must be losing her mind. Once more she climbed to her feet, her chilled breath preceding her. From in front of her, not far away, came the sounds of battle: the cries of the wounded and the clashing of weapons. Then behind her, another voice.
That voice.
“Stay here. I’ll come back for you.”
She whirled, glazed eyes desperately scanning the dark gaps between the slender trees, trying to penetrate the darkness.
“Where are you?” She started running toward the voice.
“I’ll come back, sweetheart. I promise.”
“I’m here! Right here! Where are you?”
No response. She started forward again, running, only to be brought to a sudden halt by a figure appearing without warning from behind a tree.
She screamed, and screamed again, and fell backward, backward, sitting down hard in—
She was in the underground corridor, sitting on the cold old stone, her chest pounding as if she had just run from her home all the way to Niima Outpost.
“There you are.”
The voice made her jump. But it was only Maz Kanata, standing alone in the passageway between her and the far stairway.
“What was-that?” Rey stammered as she struggled to catch her breath.
Maz looked from her to the open doorway and then back to Rey. “It called to you.”
Rey stood unsteadily, her mind still rocked by a succession of rapidly evaporating nightmares. BB-8 rolled out of the room to come to a stop beside her.
“I-I shouldn’t have gone in there.” Aware that she might well have violated unknown privacies, she hurried to voice amends. “I’m sorry…”
“Listen to me.” Maz was watching her closely. “I know this means something. Something very special…”
“I need to get back.” Rey shook her head, as if the simple physical action might somehow clear everything from her memory.
Maz came closer. “Yes, Han told me that.” Her voice was gentle now, not at all the hard, sardonic tone she had employed up until this moment. “Whatever you’ve been waiting for-whomever-I can see it in your eyes, you’ve known it all along…they’re not coming back. But there’s someone who still could. With your help.”
Tears were beginning to trickle down Rey’s face. She’d had enough, of all of this. It was too much. “No,” she said simply.
“That lightsaber was Luke’s. And his father’s before him. It reached out to you. The belonging you seek is not behind you. It is ahead. I am no Jedi, but I know the Force. It moves through and surrounds every living thing. Close your eyes. Feel it. The light. It’s always been there. It will guide you. The saber. Take it.”
Rey’s voice strengthened as she wiped away tears. “I’m never touching that thing again. I don’t want any part of this.”
Without another word Rey took off running, heading determinedly toward the stairs that beckoned just ahead. Accelerating, BB-8 easily kept pace. Maz watched her go and sighed.
One could teach knowledge. One could teach skills. One could even, she knew, teach something of the Force.
But patience had to be learned alone.
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